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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064126650" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Dog Food</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A middle aged woman stopped at the local grocery store each day for</p><p>months, she always bought just one large can of dog food. One day the</p><p>grocery clerk ask the woman what kind of dog she had? she replied, I</p><p>don't have a dog, my husband eats this for his lunch each day and he</p><p>likes it. The clerk said, madam this is not fit for human consumption,</p><p>it could make him sick, maybe even kill him. The woman purchased the</p><p>dog food and left.</p><p>This continued daly for months, then she stopped coming into</p><p>the store. Several week later she stopped in and bought a loaf of</p><p>bread, the clerk ask if she wanted any dog food, she replied,</p><p>no, my husband passed away several weeks ago. The clerk said I tried to</p><p>warn you, that dod food could kill your husband. The woman said, OH,</p><p>the dog food had nothing to do with it, he was crossing the road and</p><p>stopped to lick his ass, and was hit by a car.</p><p></p><p>The blonde teen-age girl had long been infatuated with a popular local</p><p>disc jockey and finally got to meet him when the station held an open</p><p>house.</p><p>When she seductively suggested they get better acquainted, he took her</p><p>into a vacant studio and unzipped his pants. "I suppose you know what</p><p>this is?" he whispered.</p><p>"I sure do," she said, grasping it in her hand and putting it near her</p><p>mouth,</p><p>"I'd like to say hello to Ricky,Bobby, Tina and the whole gang down at</p><p>Danny's Pizzeria."</p><p></p><p>He says, "Hey Dad! What are you doing?"</p><p>His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank."</p><p>Johnny says,"Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets</p><p>better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning." </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Masquerade Party</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A dark skinned man and his wife were going to a masquerade party in a couple</p><p>of days. The husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for</p><p>them to wear. When he comes home that night he goes to the bedroom where</p><p>there laid out on the bed was a Superman costume.</p><p></p><p>The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a</p><p>dark skinned Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear."</p><p></p><p>The next day the wife not too happy, returns the costume and gets a</p><p>replacement. The husband comes home from work once more and there laid out</p><p>on the bed was a Batman costume.</p><p></p><p>He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a</p><p>dark skinned Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the</p><p>costume party."</p><p></p><p>By this time the wife is irate, so the next morning she goes shopping. When</p><p>the husband comes home again from work there laid out on the bed are three</p><p>items. One is a set of three white buttons, another is a white belt, and the</p><p>third item is a 2 x 4 of wood.</p><p></p><p>The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"</p><p></p><p>The wife yells back, "You can take your clothes off and take the three white</p><p>buttons and put them on the front of you and go as a domino, and if you don't</p><p>like that one, you can take the belt and put it on and go as an Oreo cookie.</p><p>And if you don't like that one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as</p><p>a fudgesickle."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Q: What's the best way to get a man to remember your</p><p>anniversary?</p><p>A: Get married on his birthday.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~</span></strong></p><p>Q: How does a blonde make up her mind?</p><p>A: She puts lipstick on her forehead.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~</span></strong></p><p>They say..."Love thy neighbor as thy self."</p><p>What am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too?</p><p></p><p>Q. If having your appendix out is an appendectomy and</p><p>having your tonsils out is called a tonsillectomy..</p><p>What do you call a woman having a sex change?</p><p>A. A Giveadictomy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064126650, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Dog Food[/COLOR][/B] A middle aged woman stopped at the local grocery store each day for months, she always bought just one large can of dog food. One day the grocery clerk ask the woman what kind of dog she had? she replied, I don't have a dog, my husband eats this for his lunch each day and he likes it. The clerk said, madam this is not fit for human consumption, it could make him sick, maybe even kill him. The woman purchased the dog food and left. This continued daly for months, then she stopped coming into the store. Several week later she stopped in and bought a loaf of bread, the clerk ask if she wanted any dog food, she replied, no, my husband passed away several weeks ago. The clerk said I tried to warn you, that dod food could kill your husband. The woman said, OH, the dog food had nothing to do with it, he was crossing the road and stopped to lick his ass, and was hit by a car. The blonde teen-age girl had long been infatuated with a popular local disc jockey and finally got to meet him when the station held an open house. When she seductively suggested they get better acquainted, he took her into a vacant studio and unzipped his pants. "I suppose you know what this is?" he whispered. "I sure do," she said, grasping it in her hand and putting it near her mouth, "I'd like to say hello to Ricky,Bobby, Tina and the whole gang down at Danny's Pizzeria." He says, "Hey Dad! What are you doing?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says,"Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Masquerade Party[/COLOR][/B] A dark skinned man and his wife were going to a masquerade party in a couple of days. The husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear. When he comes home that night he goes to the bedroom where there laid out on the bed was a Superman costume. The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a dark skinned Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear." The next day the wife not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement. The husband comes home from work once more and there laid out on the bed was a Batman costume. He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a dark skinned Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party." By this time the wife is irate, so the next morning she goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work there laid out on the bed are three items. One is a set of three white buttons, another is a white belt, and the third item is a 2 x 4 of wood. The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?" The wife yells back, "You can take your clothes off and take the three white buttons and put them on the front of you and go as a domino, and if you don't like that one, you can take the belt and put it on and go as an Oreo cookie. And if you don't like that one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a fudgesickle." Q: What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? A: Get married on his birthday. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~[/COLOR][/B] Q: How does a blonde make up her mind? A: She puts lipstick on her forehead. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~[/COLOR][/B] They say..."Love thy neighbor as thy self." What am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too? Q. If having your appendix out is an appendectomy and having your tonsils out is called a tonsillectomy.. What do you call a woman having a sex change? A. A Giveadictomy. [/QUOTE]
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