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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064127290" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Nasty Little Johnny</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want</p><p>everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."</p><p></p><p>Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any</p><p>homework."</p><p></p><p>The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."</p><p></p><p>Mary says, "The sky is very dark...perhaps it's going to rain."</p><p></p><p>The teacher says, "Very good, Mary." She calls on Little Johnny in the</p><p>back.</p><p></p><p>Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her</p><p>music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they</p><p>were gonna shit on the piano."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Mom took little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.</p><p>Doc. said, "How did such a thing happen?"</p><p>Johnny said, "It's that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are</p><p>too darned sharp....</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>A Dog's Motto</p><p>If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: What do most sheep die of in New Zealand?</p><p>A: Broken necks from the farmers trying to turn their heads to kiss them</p><p>while they are fucking them....</p><p></p><p></p><p>Johnny's class is on a field trip to the farm.</p><p>The teacher asks, "Can anyone tell the class what that is?" (pointing)</p><p>Mary replies, "That is a sheep, it has wool."</p><p>Teacher "Very good, Mary. now who knows what that is?" (points)</p><p>Freddie; "That's a cow. it has milk."</p><p>This repeats for all the animals and most of the implements of the farm.</p><p>Finally teacher points at an object on the barn roof, "and who knows what</p><p>that is?"</p><p>Johnny; "That's a weathercock. it tells the wind direction."</p><p>Teacher; "And why is it called a weathercock?"</p><p>Johnny; "cause if it was a weathercunt, the wind would blow through it</p><p>and nobody'd know shit." </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Greasy Spoon</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man goes into a greasy spoon restaurant and orders a bowl of chicken soup. "What's this?!?!?" he screams! "There's a pussy hair in my soup! I'm not payin' for it!" and he storms out... The waitress gets very upset at this and follows him out and sees him go to the whorehouse across the street. He pays the madam and retires to a room with a lovely blonde and goes down on her with gusto. The waitress bursts in and says, "You complain about a hair in your soup and then come over here and do THIS!???" the waitress yells. He lifts his head, turns to her and says, "Yeah!... and if I find a noodle in here, I ain't payin' for it EITHER!!!!!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">^^^^^</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the</p><p>Pillsbury Dough Boy together?</p><p>A: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection</p><p></p><p>Q: Why were blondes given bigger brains than dogs?</p><p>A: So they wouldn't hump men's legs at parties.</p><p></p><p>Q: Did you hear about the new porno movie?</p><p>A: It's about a girl whose clitoris is in her ear ... it's called: "Cum</p><p>Again?"</p><p></p><p>Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?</p><p>A: Toes Go In First.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?</p><p>A: Tits Go In Front.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why does a blonde always drive a BMW?</p><p>A: Because they can spell it.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why don't blondes like vibrators?</p><p>A: They chip their teeth.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the</p><p>battered wives' shelter?</p><p>A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064127290, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Nasty Little Johnny[/COLOR][/B] The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it." Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." The teacher says, "Very good, Claude." Mary says, "The sky is very dark...perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary." She calls on Little Johnny in the back. Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna shit on the piano." Mom took little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis. Doc. said, "How did such a thing happen?" Johnny said, "It's that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned sharp.... [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] A Dog's Motto If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it. [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] Q: What do most sheep die of in New Zealand? A: Broken necks from the farmers trying to turn their heads to kiss them while they are fucking them.... Johnny's class is on a field trip to the farm. The teacher asks, "Can anyone tell the class what that is?" (pointing) Mary replies, "That is a sheep, it has wool." Teacher "Very good, Mary. now who knows what that is?" (points) Freddie; "That's a cow. it has milk." This repeats for all the animals and most of the implements of the farm. Finally teacher points at an object on the barn roof, "and who knows what that is?" Johnny; "That's a weathercock. it tells the wind direction." Teacher; "And why is it called a weathercock?" Johnny; "cause if it was a weathercunt, the wind would blow through it and nobody'd know shit." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Greasy Spoon[/COLOR][/B] A man goes into a greasy spoon restaurant and orders a bowl of chicken soup. "What's this?!?!?" he screams! "There's a pussy hair in my soup! I'm not payin' for it!" and he storms out... The waitress gets very upset at this and follows him out and sees him go to the whorehouse across the street. He pays the madam and retires to a room with a lovely blonde and goes down on her with gusto. The waitress bursts in and says, "You complain about a hair in your soup and then come over here and do THIS!???" the waitress yells. He lifts his head, turns to her and says, "Yeah!... and if I find a noodle in here, I ain't payin' for it EITHER!!!!!" [B][COLOR="Red"]^^^^^[/COLOR][/B] Q: What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy together? A: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection Q: Why were blondes given bigger brains than dogs? A: So they wouldn't hump men's legs at parties. Q: Did you hear about the new porno movie? A: It's about a girl whose clitoris is in her ear ... it's called: "Cum Again?" Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits Go In Front. Q: Why does a blonde always drive a BMW? A: Because they can spell it. Q: Why don't blondes like vibrators? A: They chip their teeth. Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter? A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her. [/QUOTE]
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