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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064144695" data-attributes="member: 14320">Blonde Moments!Blonde Go Ice-FishingThis blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"Beware the TreesA State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."Lost in a SnowstormA blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it. Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.Q's & A'sQ: What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving?A: They both fell off the motorcycleQ: What do a blonde and a barn have in common?A: They always have a cock in themQ: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.Q:Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?A: She was trying to blow her hornQ: How do you tell if a bank robber is blonde?A: She ties up the safe and blows the guard.Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked down the marriage aisle?A: She realized she had given her last blow job.Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?A: If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the same time and still know which one to spit out.Q: What do you call a blonde with pig tails?A: A blow job with handle bars.Q: What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?A: A mobile sperm bank!</blockquote>

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