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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064181215" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Vegetarian Or Vegan</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A friend of mine spreads some light on the vegan swallowing mystery...</p><p></p><p>Actually, the question of whether or not it is okay for a vegetarian or vegan to give BJs, and if so, if it was all right to swallow, the general consensus is:</p><p></p><p>1. It is perfectly all right to give BJs because no animal is harmed in the process.</p><p></p><p>2. It is okay to ingest sperm because it is not an animal.</p><p></p><p>Also, sperm is a good source of protein, something that is often lacking when meat is removed from the diet.</p><p></p><p>You're still my favorite lap dance,</p><p></p><p>Can you guys imagine ****** one of these gals?</p><p></p><p>I can see it in my mind's eye; your vegan girl comes home from work all worn out, craving your meat.</p><p></p><p>She looks at you and says, "I need to blow you. I haven't had enough protein today. I'm dizzy and weak and only a protein vanilla slurpee will do."</p><p></p><p>Damn. A breed of women who not only like performing oral sex, but consider it nourishment. I gotta get me a vegan.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">___________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Little Johnny's father has to come to school to talk to the teacher.</p><p>Teacher: 'Sir, I'm sorry, but your son does absolutely nothing at</p><p>school, he fails every subject!!'</p><p>Dad: 'Except for drawing, he's a very good drawer.'</p><p>Teacher: 'That's correct, last week he drew a tiger on the chalk board</p><p>and the kids were so frightened I couldn't get them to enter the classroom'</p><p>Dad: 'That's nothing, last month he drew a pussy on the stove, I fuckin</p><p>burned my dick three times!!'</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">12-Step Internet Recovery Program</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my</p><p>newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.</p><p></p><p>2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one</p><p>hand typing.</p><p></p><p>3. I will get dressed before noon.</p><p></p><p>4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and</p><p>plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.</p><p></p><p>5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few</p><p>friends and family that are Internet-deprived.</p><p></p><p>6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the</p><p>Internet.</p><p></p><p>7. I will read a book... if I still remember how.</p><p></p><p>8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop</p><p>telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the</p><p>Internet.</p><p></p><p>9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for</p><p>email.</p><p></p><p>10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if</p><p>it is necessary or not.</p><p></p><p>11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to</p><p>balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.</p><p></p><p>12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed</p><p>sometime... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">------------</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A couple were going at it in a barn down on the farm.</p><p></p><p>In the process, the condom slipped off.</p><p></p><p>The guy pokes around inside her with a straw and manages to lose that too.</p><p></p><p>Nine months later the doctor enters the waiting room where the father asks him what the baby is.</p><p></p><p>Doctor replies "It's a little bastard dressed in a raincoat and a straw hat."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064181215, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Vegetarian Or Vegan[/COLOR][/B] A friend of mine spreads some light on the vegan swallowing mystery... Actually, the question of whether or not it is okay for a vegetarian or vegan to give BJs, and if so, if it was all right to swallow, the general consensus is: 1. It is perfectly all right to give BJs because no animal is harmed in the process. 2. It is okay to ingest sperm because it is not an animal. Also, sperm is a good source of protein, something that is often lacking when meat is removed from the diet. You're still my favorite lap dance, Can you guys imagine ****** one of these gals? I can see it in my mind's eye; your vegan girl comes home from work all worn out, craving your meat. She looks at you and says, "I need to blow you. I haven't had enough protein today. I'm dizzy and weak and only a protein vanilla slurpee will do." Damn. A breed of women who not only like performing oral sex, but consider it nourishment. I gotta get me a vegan. [B][COLOR="Red"]___________[/COLOR][/B] Little Johnny's father has to come to school to talk to the teacher. Teacher: 'Sir, I'm sorry, but your son does absolutely nothing at school, he fails every subject!!' Dad: 'Except for drawing, he's a very good drawer.' Teacher: 'That's correct, last week he drew a tiger on the chalk board and the kids were so frightened I couldn't get them to enter the classroom' Dad: 'That's nothing, last month he drew a pussy on the stove, I fuckin burned my dick three times!!' [B][COLOR="Teal"]12-Step Internet Recovery Program[/COLOR][/B] 1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet. 2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3. I will get dressed before noon. 4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet. 5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived. 6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet. 7. I will read a book... if I still remember how. 8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet. 9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email. 10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not. 11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet. 12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow! [B][COLOR="Red"]------------[/COLOR][/B] A couple were going at it in a barn down on the farm. In the process, the condom slipped off. The guy pokes around inside her with a straw and manages to lose that too. Nine months later the doctor enters the waiting room where the father asks him what the baby is. Doctor replies "It's a little bastard dressed in a raincoat and a straw hat." [/QUOTE]
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