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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064181649" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Story Of A Woman</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A story of a woman who just turned 47 years old:</p><p></p><p>When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have</p><p>a boyfriend.</p><p></p><p>When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no</p><p>passion.</p><p></p><p>So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest</p><p>for life. In college I dated a passionate guy, but he</p><p>was too emotional. Everything was an emergency,</p><p>he was a drama queen, cried all the time and</p><p>threatened suicide.</p><p></p><p>So I decided I needed a guy with stability.</p><p>When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he</p><p>was boring. He was totally predictable and never</p><p>got excited about anything.</p><p></p><p>Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy</p><p>with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an</p><p>exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him.</p><p>He rushed from one thing to another, never settling</p><p>on anything.</p><p></p><p>He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone</p><p>he met. He made me miserable as often as happy.</p><p>He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.</p><p></p><p>So I decided to find a guy with some ambition.</p><p>When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious guy with</p><p>his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him.</p><p>He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything</p><p>I owned, and ran off with my best friend.</p><p></p><p>I am now 47 And am looking for a guy with a big dick.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*******************</span></strong></p><p></p><p>After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened last night?"</p><p></p><p>"As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife.</p><p></p><p>"Piss on him," answered the husband.</p><p></p><p>"You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."</p><p></p><p>"Well, fuck him," said the husband.</p><p></p><p>"I did, and you go back to work in the morning." </p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">"Advice For Young Girlfriends"</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?</p><p>A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to</p><p>love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as</p><p>emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.</p><p></p><p>Q: Should I have sex on the first date?</p><p>A: YES. Before if possible.</p><p></p><p>Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?</p><p>A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember</p><p>is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes,</p><p>however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem</p><p>strange to you. Do them anyway.</p><p></p><p>Q: How long should the sex act last?</p><p>A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or</p><p>embarrassed.</p><p>After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave</p><p>you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf.</p><p>Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar</p><p>for the purpose of consuming large</p><p>amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies.</p><p>Don't feel left out -- while he's</p><p>gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, or</p><p>perhaps even going out to buy him an</p><p>expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is "afterplay"?</p><p>A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly</p><p>energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do</p><p>after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a</p><p>sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few</p><p>beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an</p><p>expensive gift.</p><p></p><p>Q: Does the size of the penis matter?</p><p>A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is</p><p>important, studies show this is simply not true.</p><p>The average erect male penis measures about three inches. Anything longer</p><p>than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover's sexual</p><p>organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your</p><p>lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his</p><p>laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift.</p><p></p><p>Q: What about the female orgasm?</p><p>A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064181649, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Story Of A Woman[/COLOR][/B] A story of a woman who just turned 47 years old: When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend. When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate guy, but he was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a guy with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he was boring. He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him. He rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as often as happy. He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a guy with some ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious guy with his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him. He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything I owned, and ran off with my best friend. I am now 47 And am looking for a guy with a big dick. [B][COLOR="Red"]*******************[/COLOR][/B] After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened last night?" "As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife. "Piss on him," answered the husband. "You did," said the wife, "and he fired you." "Well, fuck him," said the husband. "I did, and you go back to work in the morning." [B][COLOR="Teal"]"Advice For Young Girlfriends"[/COLOR][/B] Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex? A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact. Q: Should I have sex on the first date? A: YES. Before if possible. Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex? A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway. Q: How long should the sex act last? A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out -- while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready. Q: What is "afterplay"? A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift. Q: Does the size of the penis matter? A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift. Q: What about the female orgasm? A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth. [/QUOTE]
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