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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064186059" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Dog's Day</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room.</p><p></p><p>When the first dog asks the second dog what he's in for.</p><p></p><p>He answers, "My master bought a brand new carpet the other day, and at the first opportunity I soiled it, so now I've been brought here to be put to sleep. So what are you here for?"</p><p></p><p>The first dog replies grimly, "I'm also being put to sleep. My master had a table with a collection of expensive vases and while I was chasing my tail I accidentally bumped into the table and broke them all."</p><p></p><p>The two dogs then look over and ask the third dog what he's in for.</p><p></p><p>The third dog answers, "The reason I'm here is the other day my master stepped out of the shower and she bent over. I couldn't resist, so I jumped her from behind and took her like a wild animal!"</p><p></p><p>"So I guess you're also here to be put to sleep?" says the first dog.</p><p></p><p>The third dog answers, "Nope, I'm here to get my nails done."</p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Teal"><strong>This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.</strong></span></p><p></p><p></p><p>SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting...</p><p></p><p>Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. (Men are so easy).</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">REASONS FOR DIVORCE</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man in Hazard, Kentucky, divorced his wife</p><p>because she "beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger</p><p>without asking for permission."</p><p></p><p>A man in Tarritville, Connecticut, filed for divorce because his</p><p>wife left him a note on the refrigerator that read: "I have gone to</p><p>the bridge club. There'll be a recipe for your dinner at</p><p>7 o'clock on Channel 2."</p><p></p><p>A deaf man in Bennettsville, South Carolina filed for divorce</p><p>because his wife "was always nagging him in sign language."</p><p></p><p>A woman in Canon City, Colorado, divorced her husband because he</p><p>forced her to "duck under the dashboard whenever they drove past his</p><p>girlfriend's house."</p><p></p><p>A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds</p><p>that he "stayed home too much and was much too affectionate.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">aaaaa</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An overweight man was waiting in line at a bank. There were two</p><p>teenage boys in line behind him.</p><p></p><p>They were giggling and making fun of how fat the man was. After</p><p>five minutes of this the man turned to the boys and asked them</p><p>politely to stop, as he couldn't help his weight problem.</p><p></p><p>With this the boys asked, "Oh, and why are you so fat Mister?"</p><p></p><p>The Man turned around and replied: "Well, every time I screwed your</p><p>mother, she gave me a cookie."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">aaaaa</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There was a young fellow named Goody</p><p>Who claimed that he wouldn't, but would he?</p><p>If he found himself nude</p><p>With a gal in the mood</p><p>The question's not woody but could he?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064186059, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Dog's Day[/COLOR][/B] Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room. When the first dog asks the second dog what he's in for. He answers, "My master bought a brand new carpet the other day, and at the first opportunity I soiled it, so now I've been brought here to be put to sleep. So what are you here for?" The first dog replies grimly, "I'm also being put to sleep. My master had a table with a collection of expensive vases and while I was chasing my tail I accidentally bumped into the table and broke them all." The two dogs then look over and ask the third dog what he's in for. The third dog answers, "The reason I'm here is the other day my master stepped out of the shower and she bent over. I couldn't resist, so I jumped her from behind and took her like a wild animal!" "So I guess you're also here to be put to sleep?" says the first dog. The third dog answers, "Nope, I'm here to get my nails done." [COLOR="Teal"][B]This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.[/B][/COLOR] SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting... Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. (Men are so easy). [B][COLOR="Teal"]REASONS FOR DIVORCE[/COLOR][/B] A man in Hazard, Kentucky, divorced his wife because she "beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger without asking for permission." A man in Tarritville, Connecticut, filed for divorce because his wife left him a note on the refrigerator that read: "I have gone to the bridge club. There'll be a recipe for your dinner at 7 o'clock on Channel 2." A deaf man in Bennettsville, South Carolina filed for divorce because his wife "was always nagging him in sign language." A woman in Canon City, Colorado, divorced her husband because he forced her to "duck under the dashboard whenever they drove past his girlfriend's house." A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds that he "stayed home too much and was much too affectionate. [B][COLOR="Red"] aaaaa[/COLOR][/B] An overweight man was waiting in line at a bank. There were two teenage boys in line behind him. They were giggling and making fun of how fat the man was. After five minutes of this the man turned to the boys and asked them politely to stop, as he couldn't help his weight problem. With this the boys asked, "Oh, and why are you so fat Mister?" The Man turned around and replied: "Well, every time I screwed your mother, she gave me a cookie." [B][COLOR="Red"]aaaaa[/COLOR][/B] There was a young fellow named Goody Who claimed that he wouldn't, but would he? If he found himself nude With a gal in the mood The question's not woody but could he? [/QUOTE]
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