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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064195732" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Raise In Salary</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><em><span style="color: Teal">Salary Increase</span></em></strong></p><p></p><p>I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for</p><p>the following reasons</p><p>> I do physical labor</p><p>> I work at great depths</p><p>> I plunge headfirst into everything I do</p><p>> I do not get weekends off or public holidays</p><p>> I work in a damp environment</p><p>> I don't get paid overtime</p><p>> I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation</p><p>> I work in high temperatures</p><p>> My work has the potential to expose me to contagious</p><p>diseases</p><p></p><p><strong><em><span style="color: Teal">Reply</span></em></strong></p><p></p><p>Dear Penis,</p><p>After assessing your request, and considering the</p><p>arguments you have</p><p>raised, the administration rejects your request for</p><p>the following reasons:</p><p>> You do not work 8 hours straight</p><p>> You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods</p><p>> You do not always follow the orders of the management team</p><p>> You do not stay in your allocated position, and often Visit other areas</p><p>> You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working</p><p>> You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift</p><p>> You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,</p><p>Such as wearing the correct protective clothing</p><p>> You'll retire well before reaching 65</p><p>> You're unable to work double shifts</p><p>> You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed</p><p>the days work</p><p>> And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags</p><p>> Sincerely</p><p>> The Management</p><p></p><p>There once was a girl from Sydney,</p><p>Who could take it right up to her kidney,</p><p>But a guy from Quebec,</p><p>Shoved it up to her neck,</p><p>He had a long one, now didn't he!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>On the banks of the Thames stood Lord Buckingham,</p><p>Dreaming of tits and of sucking em,</p><p>Whilst watching the stunts,</p><p>Of the cunts in the punts,</p><p>And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking em!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>Undressing a maiden named Sue,</p><p>Her seducer exclaimed, "If it's true,"</p><p>"That a nipple a day,"</p><p>"Keeps the doctor away,"</p><p>"Think how healthy you must be with two!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>Two school kids around Aberystwyth,</p><p>Made love with the lips that they kissed with,</p><p>But as they got older,</p><p>They also got bolder,</p><p>Making love with the things that they pissed with!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>Two lesbians North of the town,</p><p>Made sixty-nine love on the ground,</p><p>Their unbridled lust,</p><p>Leaked out in the dust,</p><p>And made so much mud that they drowned!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>There was an old man of the port,</p><p>Whose prick was remarkably short,</p><p>When he got into bed,</p><p>The old woman said,</p><p>"This isn't a prick, it's a wart!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>Once a young gay from Khartoum,</p><p>Took a lesbian up to his room,</p><p>They argued all night,</p><p>Over who had the right,</p><p>To do what, and with which and to whom!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>The Duchess when pouring tea,</p><p>Asked, "Do you fart when you pee?",</p><p>I replied with some wit,</p><p>"Do you belch when you shit?",</p><p>And I think that was one up to me!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>There was a young girl from Hoboken,</p><p>Who claimed that her hymen was broken,</p><p>From riding her bike,</p><p>On a cobblestone pike,</p><p>But it really was broken from pokin!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>There once was a girl from Belize,</p><p>Who could put fruit up her cunt with ease,</p><p>If your drinking some tea,</p><p>When she has to pee,</p><p>Just ask, "Some lemon juice please!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>There once was a girl who couldn't shit,</p><p>Because she kept playing with her clit,</p><p>The doctor said, "Stop!"</p><p>So she pulled off her top,</p><p>And started to play with her tit!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p>There was an old man of Duluth,</p><p>Whose cock was shot off in his youth,</p><p>He fucked with his nose,</p><p>And his fingers and toes,</p><p>And he came through a hole in his tooth!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064195732, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Raise In Salary[/COLOR] [I][COLOR="Teal"]Salary Increase[/COLOR][/I][/B] I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons > I do physical labor > I work at great depths > I plunge headfirst into everything I do > I do not get weekends off or public holidays > I work in a damp environment > I don't get paid overtime > I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation > I work in high temperatures > My work has the potential to expose me to contagious diseases [B][I][COLOR="Teal"]Reply[/COLOR][/I][/B] Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: > You do not work 8 hours straight > You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods > You do not always follow the orders of the management team > You do not stay in your allocated position, and often Visit other areas > You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working > You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift > You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, Such as wearing the correct protective clothing > You'll retire well before reaching 65 > You're unable to work double shifts > You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the days work > And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags > Sincerely > The Management There once was a girl from Sydney, Who could take it right up to her kidney, But a guy from Quebec, Shoved it up to her neck, He had a long one, now didn't he! [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] On the banks of the Thames stood Lord Buckingham, Dreaming of tits and of sucking em, Whilst watching the stunts, Of the cunts in the punts, And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking em!" [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] Undressing a maiden named Sue, Her seducer exclaimed, "If it's true," "That a nipple a day," "Keeps the doctor away," "Think how healthy you must be with two!" [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] Two school kids around Aberystwyth, Made love with the lips that they kissed with, But as they got older, They also got bolder, Making love with the things that they pissed with! [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] Two lesbians North of the town, Made sixty-nine love on the ground, Their unbridled lust, Leaked out in the dust, And made so much mud that they drowned! [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] There was an old man of the port, Whose prick was remarkably short, When he got into bed, The old woman said, "This isn't a prick, it's a wart!" [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] Once a young gay from Khartoum, Took a lesbian up to his room, They argued all night, Over who had the right, To do what, and with which and to whom! [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] The Duchess when pouring tea, Asked, "Do you fart when you pee?", I replied with some wit, "Do you belch when you shit?", And I think that was one up to me! [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] There was a young girl from Hoboken, Who claimed that her hymen was broken, From riding her bike, On a cobblestone pike, But it really was broken from pokin! [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] There once was a girl from Belize, Who could put fruit up her cunt with ease, If your drinking some tea, When she has to pee, Just ask, "Some lemon juice please!" [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] There once was a girl who couldn't shit, Because she kept playing with her clit, The doctor said, "Stop!" So she pulled off her top, And started to play with her tit! [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] There was an old man of Duluth, Whose cock was shot off in his youth, He fucked with his nose, And his fingers and toes, And he came through a hole in his tooth! [/QUOTE]
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