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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064202339" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Bus RideA guy down on his luck, was reduced to catching the bus.One day a beautiful young nun boarded the bus and sat down in front of him. She wassuch a babe he kept leaning forward to perv on her. Finally, he could control himself nolonger. Leaning forward, he whispered quietly in her ear, "I'd like to fuck you up the arse."With a gasp of shock the nun jumped to her feet, rang the bell and got off the bus.A couple of stops later, the bloke was getting off when the driver said, "Hey, what did yousay to that nun?""Well, to be honest," said the guy, "she looked so damn good I said I'd like to fuck herup the arse.""Shit, no wonder she got off. She's very religious and you shoulda asked her in a moredevout way. As a matter of fact, she goes through the park down the road every night atabout 7.30. Why don't you go there and try a different approach.The guy had long hair and a beard, so he got himself a robe and waited in the park forher to come by.Sure enough, around 7.30, the nun appeared on her way to the convent. Leaping out of thebushes, the guy shouted, "Hey nun, I'm Jesus, come to fuck you up the arse!""No worries, Jesus," said the nun and she bent over and hoisted up her habit.After the guy had done the deed, remorse set in and he said rather sheepishly, "I'm notreally Jesus.""That's okay," came the reply. "I'm not really the nun. I'm the bus driver."=======A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an aspirin down hiswife's throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells, "What the fuck are you doing?""Just giving you an aspirin for your headache." The bloke answered."But I ain't got a headache," she yelled back."Good then, Lets fuck!" said the bloke. World Women's ConferenceAt the 1997 World Women's Conference the first speaker fromEngland stood up: "At last years' conference we spoke aboutbeing more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conferenceI went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook forhim and that he would have to do it himself. After the first dayI saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after thethird day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."The crowd cheered.The second speaker from America stood up: "After last years'conference I went home and told my husband that I would nolonger do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I sawnothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not onlyhis own washing but my washing as well."The crowd cheered.The third speaker from Australia stood up: "After last years'conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longerdo his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. Afterthe first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing.But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."====================A guy walks into a whorehouse and tells one of the girls he wants ablowjob. The girl takes him to a room and proceeds suck him offwithout a condom. While she does so, the guy sees a half-full bucketof sperm beside the bed.He disregards the strange site as he enjoys the best blowjob of hislife. A second later, he shoots long lines of semen into her mouth.She takes every drop, but instead of swallowing, she spits the cuminto that damned bucket.The guy wonders aloud, "Don't like swallowing spuzz, huh?"She wipes her mouth and replies, "Another girl and I have a bet.Whoever fills up a bucket first gets to drink both buckets."</blockquote>

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