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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064209914" data-attributes="member: 14320">Christmas Q&A JokesQ. What did Santa say to the three blondes?A. Ho! Ho! Ho!Q. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?A. You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.Q. What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?A. They go into town and blow a few bucks.Q. What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?A. Snowballs.Q. Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?A. Because the snowblower was coming down the block.Q. Why is Santa Claus always so jolly?A. Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!Q. What do you call a truck load of vibrators heading South from the North Pole on Christmas Eve?A. Toys for twats!Q. Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?A. Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children ?A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.Q. How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?A. They both have ornamental balls.Q. Why do people make snow men instead of snow women?A. Because it takes too long to hollow out the head!This woman walks into a tattoo shop and asks for a tattoo of a Christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.The tattoo artist says "That's an unusual request. Why do you want two tattoos there?"She replies "Because my husband needs to eat between Christmas and New Years."The 9 Types Of GirlfriendsMs. Nice Guy -"Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have"Also Known As: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat.Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindlyDisadvantages: May wise up somedayOld Yeller -"You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??"Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from HellAdvantages: Pays attention to youDisadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pansSickly -"Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, GlumpyAdvantages: PredictableDisadvantages: ContagiousThe Bosser -"Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."Also known as: Whipcracker: The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes MomAdvantages: Often rightDisadvantages: Often right, but so what?Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied -"I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?"Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon HoneyAdvantages: Easily soothedDisadvantages: Even more easily perturbedWild Woman out of Control -"I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun."Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed outAdvantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeysDisadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffsHuffy -"I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at"Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, SnarlyAdvantages: Your friends will feel sorry for youDisadvantages: You will have no friendsWoman from Mars -"I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship"Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, ArtisticAdvantages: Entertaining, unfathomableDisadvantages: Will read her poetry aloudMs. Dreamgirl -"I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now"Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, GorgeousAdvantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibitedDisadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you</blockquote>

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