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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064218830" data-attributes="member: 14320">Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you havehad in the past.2. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.3. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in thecloset.4. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.6. When you are done with a Christmas tree, you can throw it on the curband have it hauled away.7. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.9. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in theback of your pickup truck.That wily old pervert St. NickMade good use of the curve to his dick.He glazed the whole shaftPainted stripes, then he laughedAs he offered young ladies a lick.I wonder what Christmas will be,No merriment, good cheer or glee,Now that Santa's arrested,Because someone protested,That he laid some doll under their tree.Why Is A Christmas Tree Better Than A Man1. A Christmas tree is always erect.2. Even small ones give satisfaction.3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on.5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its "sell by" date.9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.Why Santa Can't Possibly Be A Mana. Men can't pack a bagb. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.c. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seenwith all those elvesd. Men don't answer their maile. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even injust as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly"f. Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing themg. Having to do the Ho-Ho-Ho thing would seriously inhibit theirability to pick up womenh. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.Roses are Redish, Violets are Bluesh.If it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish.Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?He was waiting for the snow blower!Top 10 Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping andhandling.7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoampeanuts.6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.5. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the dork list.4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee.3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beardand I'll put the hurt on you."2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"</blockquote>

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