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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064251692" data-attributes="member: 14320">Not A VirginA girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she wasnot, as her fiance thought, a virgin. She asked her friend what to do."No Problem," said the friend, "Just buy a piece of raw liver and shoveit up inside you. It will make you tight and he will never know thedifference." The girl followed this advice and on her wedding night thegroom consummated the marriage with tremendous energy in the bed, on thefloor, in the bathtub, under the kitchen table, everywhere. She fellasleep blissfully, but when she awoke she was devastated to find thefollowing note pinned to her pillow: Dear Jane: Last night was pureheaven. Unfortunately, since we will never be able to repeat thatperformance, I am leaving you forever.P.S. Your pussy is in the sink.@@@@@What your sleeping position says about you!According to a new article in 'Cosmopolitan' magazine, they saythe position you sleep in says a lot about you.They say women who sleep on their sides are sensitive, women whosleep on their stomachs are competent, and women who sleep ontheir backs with their ankles behind their ears are very popular.@@@@@There once was the plumber from Leighwas plumbing his maid by the seasaid the maid: stop plumbingI hear someone comingsaid the plumber, still plumbing, its meElephant Jokes!Q: Why are elephants large, gray, and wrinkled?A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins.Q: Why did the elephant wear dark sunglasses?A: So he wouldn't be recognized.Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephant came up over the hill?A: Nothing. He didn't recognize the elephant because he was wearing dark sunglasses.Q: What did the cat say to the elephant?A: Meow.Q: Why do elephants wear red toenail polish?A: Oops, sorry, no Polish jokes allowed.Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?A: So they can hide in the strawberry patch.Q: But there aren't any elephants in the strawberry patch!A: See, their camouflage is working.Q: How do you get an elephant to the top of an oak tree?A: Plant an acorn under him and wait 50 years.Q: What if I don't want to wait 50 years?A: Put a parachute on the elephant and drop him from a helicopter. Q: How do you get an elephant down from an oak tree?A: Tell him to sit on a leaf and wait until autumn.Q: Why are alligators long and flat?A: They must have gotten too close to the oak tree.Q: What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?A: About 3000 miles.Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a flea?A: An elephant can have fleas, but a flea can't have elephants.Q: What's the difference between an elephant and an egg?A: If you don't know, I hope you don't do the grocery shopping!Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?A: It was the chicken's day off.Q: Why did the Frenchman sprinkle salt on the road?A: To keep elephants away.Q: But there are no elephants in France.A: See, it's working!Q: What do you do with a blue elephant?A: Cheer him up.Q: Where is the best place to see a herd of charging elephants?A: On television.Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?A: Take away his credit cards.</blockquote>

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