Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064253557" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Performance Appraisals Revisited</span></strong></p><p></p><p>GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ......= Able to bullshit</p><p>GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ......= Spends lots of time on phone</p><p>AVERAGE EMPLOYEE ...............= Not too bright</p><p>EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ...= Made no major blunders yet</p><p>WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY .........= Too ugly to get a date</p><p>ACTIVE SOCIALLY ................= Drinks a lot</p><p>FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ......= Spouse drinks, too</p><p>INDEPENDENT WORKER .............= Nobody knows what he/she does</p><p>QUICK THINKING .................= Offers plausible excuses</p><p>CAREFUL THINKER ................= Won't make a decision</p><p>AGGRESSIVE .....................= Obnoxious</p><p>USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ...= Gets someone else to do it</p><p>EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ......= Speaks English</p><p>METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL .= A nit picker</p><p>HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES .......= Is tall or has a loud voice</p><p>EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ...= Lucky</p><p>KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ...........= Knows a lot of dirty jokes</p><p>CAREER MINDED ..................= Back Stabber</p><p>LOYAL ..........................= Can't get a job anywhere else</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*****</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Teal"><strong>Heading for Trouble</strong></span></p><p></p><p>A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is just a head though. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm. The man thought,''Hey this is good.'' So he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm. The man the asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes. The bartender looks over at the man and says,'' Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead.'</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">An Italian In Detroit</span></strong></p><p></p><p>You must use an Italian accent for this joke to work:</p><p></p><p>One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast,</p><p></p><p>I tella waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one</p><p>piss.</p><p>I tella her I wanta two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say to her</p><p>you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better not</p><p>piss on the plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and</p><p>she calla me a sonna ma bitch.</p><p></p><p>Later I go to eats lunch at drake restaurant. The waitress bringa me a</p><p>spoon anda knife but no fock. I tella her, I wanna fock. She tella me</p><p>everybody wanna fock. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on</p><p>the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna Ma</p><p>bitch.</p><p></p><p>So I go back to my room inna Otel, and there's no sheet on my bed. I</p><p>calla the manager anna tella him I wanna sheet. He tells me to go to</p><p>the toilet.</p><p>So I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on my bed. He say you better</p><p>not sheet on the bed you sonna ma bitch.</p><p></p><p>I go to check out anda the man at the desk say. Peace to you, I say</p><p>Piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch.</p><p></p><p>I go back to Italy.</p><p></p><p></p><p>An American businessman is in Japan. The Japanese</p><p>businessmen take him out, get him drunk, and send him</p><p>upstairs with a hooker.</p><p></p><p>As he's fucking her, she starts screaming, "Nashagai ana!</p><p>Nashagai ana!"</p><p></p><p>He's going, "Yeah, baby, take it all..." He keeps pumping,</p><p>and she keeps screaming, "Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!"</p><p></p><p>The next day he's playing golf with one of the Japanese guys,</p><p>and he slices the ball, and it goes way off to the right.</p><p>The Japanese businessman says, "Nashagai ana."</p><p></p><p>The American asks, "What does that mean?"</p><p></p><p>The Japanese replies, "Wrong hole."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064253557, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"] Performance Appraisals Revisited[/COLOR][/B] GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ......= Able to bullshit GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ......= Spends lots of time on phone AVERAGE EMPLOYEE ...............= Not too bright EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ...= Made no major blunders yet WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY .........= Too ugly to get a date ACTIVE SOCIALLY ................= Drinks a lot FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ......= Spouse drinks, too INDEPENDENT WORKER .............= Nobody knows what he/she does QUICK THINKING .................= Offers plausible excuses CAREFUL THINKER ................= Won't make a decision AGGRESSIVE .....................= Obnoxious USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ...= Gets someone else to do it EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ......= Speaks English METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL .= A nit picker HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES .......= Is tall or has a loud voice EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ...= Lucky KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ...........= Knows a lot of dirty jokes CAREER MINDED ..................= Back Stabber LOYAL ..........................= Can't get a job anywhere else [B][COLOR="Red"]*****[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="Teal"][B]Heading for Trouble[/B][/COLOR] A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is just a head though. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm. The man thought,''Hey this is good.'' So he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm. The man the asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes. The bartender looks over at the man and says,'' Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead.' [B][COLOR="Teal"]An Italian In Detroit[/COLOR][/B] You must use an Italian accent for this joke to work: One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast, I tella waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanta two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say to her you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better not piss on the plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla me a sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eats lunch at drake restaurant. The waitress bringa me a spoon anda knife but no fock. I tella her, I wanna fock. She tella me everybody wanna fock. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna Ma bitch. So I go back to my room inna Otel, and there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager anna tella him I wanna sheet. He tells me to go to the toilet. So I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on my bed. He say you better not sheet on the bed you sonna ma bitch. I go to check out anda the man at the desk say. Peace to you, I say Piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch. I go back to Italy. An American businessman is in Japan. The Japanese businessmen take him out, get him drunk, and send him upstairs with a hooker. As he's fucking her, she starts screaming, "Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!" He's going, "Yeah, baby, take it all..." He keeps pumping, and she keeps screaming, "Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!" The next day he's playing golf with one of the Japanese guys, and he slices the ball, and it goes way off to the right. The Japanese businessman says, "Nashagai ana." The American asks, "What does that mean?" The Japanese replies, "Wrong hole." [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
Started by
david tao
Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F10 vorsteiner rear bumper diffuser
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Mitsubishi Lancer Evo bodykit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Pagani lets the cat-fish out of the bag on Huayra
Pagani lets the cat-fish out of the bag on Huayra w/video
https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/pag1-600x365.jpg
So after some other publications broke the embargo on Pagani’s latest...
ECU Tuning (lancer / Non Evo Only)
Please share if you have experience on ECU tuning / reflash on Non Evo, Non Turbo, NA Lancer only.
NISMO 260km/h meter cluster for 180SX
Used NISMO 260km/h meter cluster for 180sx.
Mileage - 75000-80000 (can't remember the exact figure)
Price : RM 550
PM or SMS me (017-3288329).
NO PICS.
Recent Posts
Darker Design : Mercedes-Benz Launches GLA Nightfall Edition in Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Honda Malaysia Doubles Down on Hybrids: New CR-V Launches with Dual e:HEV...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
BateriHub Reaches 200-Store Milestone, Becomes Malaysia’s Largest...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Been stalking for 3 years edy
Started by
dheepadarshan95
Introduction and Newbies
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...