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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064253557" data-attributes="member: 14320">Performance Appraisals RevisitedGREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ......= Able to bullshitGOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ......= Spends lots of time on phoneAVERAGE EMPLOYEE ...............= Not too brightEXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ...= Made no major blunders yetWORK IS FIRST PRIORITY .........= Too ugly to get a dateACTIVE SOCIALLY ................= Drinks a lotFAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ......= Spouse drinks, tooINDEPENDENT WORKER .............= Nobody knows what he/she doesQUICK THINKING .................= Offers plausible excusesCAREFUL THINKER ................= Won't make a decisionAGGRESSIVE .....................= ObnoxiousUSES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ...= Gets someone else to do itEXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ......= Speaks EnglishMETICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL .= A nit pickerHAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES .......= Is tall or has a loud voiceEXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ...= LuckyKEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ...........= Knows a lot of dirty jokesCAREER MINDED ..................= Back StabberLOYAL ..........................= Can't get a job anywhere else*****Heading for TroubleA guy and his son go into a bar. The son is just a head though. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm. The man thought,''Hey this is good.'' So he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm. The man the asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes. The bartender looks over at the man and says,'' Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead.'An Italian In DetroitYou must use an Italian accent for this joke to work:One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast,I tella waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only onepiss.I tella her I wanta two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say to heryou no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better notpiss on the plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady andshe calla me a sonna ma bitch.Later I go to eats lunch at drake restaurant. The waitress bringa me aspoon anda knife but no fock. I tella her, I wanna fock. She tella meeverybody wanna fock. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock onthe table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna Mabitch.So I go back to my room inna Otel, and there's no sheet on my bed. Icalla the manager anna tella him I wanna sheet. He tells me to go tothe toilet.So I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on my bed. He say you betternot sheet on the bed you sonna ma bitch.I go to check out anda the man at the desk say. Peace to you, I sayPiss on you too, you sonna ma bitch.I go back to Italy.An American businessman is in Japan. The Japanesebusinessmen take him out, get him drunk, and send himupstairs with a hooker.As he's fucking her, she starts screaming, "Nashagai ana!Nashagai ana!"He's going, "Yeah, baby, take it all..." He keeps pumping,and she keeps screaming, "Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!"The next day he's playing golf with one of the Japanese guys,and he slices the ball, and it goes way off to the right.The Japanese businessman says, "Nashagai ana."The American asks, "What does that mean?"The Japanese replies, "Wrong hole."</blockquote>

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