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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064255825" data-attributes="member: 14320">Translating "Personals"GUIDE TO TRANSLATING "PERSONAL" ADVERTISEMENTSIndependent Thinker . . . . . . . Crazy.High-Spirited . . . . . . . . . Crazy, hyperactive, and throws things.Free-Spirited . . . . . . . . . Crazy and irresponsible.Ample . . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.Huggable . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.Zaftig . . . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY Large.Fat and Sassy . . . . . . . . . Large and loudmouthed.Slender . . . . . . . . . . . . Skinny.Svelte . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anorexic.Petite (I am). . . . . . . . . . Short.Petite (you are) . . . . . . . . Size 2.Dynamic . . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy.Assertive . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy with a mean streak.Excited About Life's Journey . . No concept of reality.Moody . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive.Unpredictable . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and off medication.Soulful . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and quiet.Poetic . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and boring.Looking for Mr/Ms Right. . . . . Looking for Mr/Ms Rich.Very Human . . . . . . . . . . . Quasimodo.Uninhibited . . . . . . . . . . Lacking basic social skills.Irreverent . . . . . . . . . . . Mean and lacking basic social skills.Aging Child . . . . . . . . . . Self-centered adult.Freedom-loving . . . . . . . . . Undependable.Young at Heart . . . . . . . . . Over 40.Youthful . . . . . . . . . . . . Over 50 and in major denial.Chatty . . . . . . . . . . . . . Never shuts up.Humorous . . . . . . . . . . . . Watches too much TV and never shuts up.Financially secure (I am). . . . Has a job.Financially secure (you are) . . Rich.Affectionate . . . . . . . . . . Horny.Romantic . . . . . . . . . . . . Horny.Passionate . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY horny.Construction WorkerA young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. Oneday a construction crew turned up to build a house on the lot.The family's six-year-old daughter naturally took an interest inall the activity going on next door. She hung around andeventually the construction workers adopted her as a kind ofmascot. They chatted to her and gave her little jobs to do and atthe end of the week presented her with a pay envelope containinga dollar.She took this home to her mother, who said all the appropriatewords of admiration and suggested that they take it to the bankthe next morning to deposit it in her account.When they went to the bank, the teller was equally impressed, andasked the little girl how she had come by her earnings."I've been building a house this week," she replied proudly."Goodness!" said the teller. "And will you be building a housenext week, too?""Yes," answered the little girl. "If we ever get the fuckingbricks."~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*Jenny, despite her good looks and charm, had still never dated any boysat the age of 19. Today she was asking her aunt Martha for advice withboys."Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing Tommy and Ineed to know where the spit should go. I don't want to dribble on myboyfriend.""Swallow." her aunt advised. "This will make you even more popularlater on."~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*Q: What happened when the blonde robbed the bank?A: She tied up the safe and blew the guard.~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*Managing to pull himself onto the bus early one morning, the drunk stumbled over passengers, knocked over bags and briefcases, and finally fell into a seat beside a prim old woman. He slumped over her, and she pushed him back. “Mister,” she said indignantly. “I hate to say it, but you are going straight to hell!”Startled, the drunk leapt to his feet. “Christ, I’m on the wrong bus!”</blockquote>

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