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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064257059" data-attributes="member: 14320">Funny ChitHusband wakes at 5 in the morning feeling realy horny, He nudges his wife and says,"honey give me a blow job." His wife says, "sweetheart i'm tired, just have a wank in a glass and ill drink it in the morning."Q: Why did God create alcohol?A: So ugly people have a chance to have sexQ: What are the bumps for around a woman's nipples?A: It's Braille for "Suck here"!Q: What do gay termites eat?A: Wood Peckers.Shagga and Ferret went to the Pub for a few drinks,Shagga says to Ferret,”Mate,would you screw a Sheila (female) that had badBreath and rotten teeth”Ferret looks at Shagga aghast and says”No way”“Mate,would you Screw a Sheila that was 50kgOverweight and had skin rashes and Ezcma”.“Stop,your making me sick”replies Ferret.“Mate,would you screw a Sheila that had bad bodyOdor, didn’t shave under her armpits and had TineaBetween her toe’s and a smelly rash in her groin”.Ferret turns a sickly white “Yuk,of course I wouldn’t,that’s to disgusting to even think about”.“SO HOW COME YOUR SCREWING MY MISSUS THEN”.BIRTHDAYS of UNIMPORTANT PEOPLEFeb.16th...Melissa Gersh-First woman to be penetrated with a Viagraenhanced penis.Jun.7th... Carlos Jeromack-Inventor of the cardboard man hole cover.Nov.23rd...Gloria Wouwerman-Last woman to board a lifeboat on theTitanic, before it sailed.Mar.13th...Isaac Grimaldi-Opened the first Kosher restaurant in SaudiArabia.Dec.3rd...Jacques Q. Moed-Paid $6.4 million at Christie's auction forthe original Cinderella slipper (autographed by her stepmother).Apr.25th...Helen Bardot-Made millions by adding numbers to alphabet souprecipe.July 5th...Gerard K. Nerney Jr.-Sued 'K-Mart' claiming they used hismiddle initial without his authorization (settled for $1.49).Oct.18th...Rodrigo Keller-Patented the first contact lens for seeing-eyedogs.Jan.30th...Jessica Rolex-Developed soundless wind chimes.Aug.2nd...Rev.Francis Goldblum-Proposed that 'death by stoning' becomean alternative to the electric chair or lethal injections...hey it's biblical.May 22nd...Sherry Sugarman-Successfully marketed recycled pixels tothird world countries.Sept.9th...Dr.Vinton Fiorina-Locates surplus mother's milk for needyinfants in large families.~~~~~~The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with thissee-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit,telling her not to dare go out like that.The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times.You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmotheris sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. Sheexplains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over andthat it is just not appropriate."Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then Ican display my hanging baskets."</blockquote>

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