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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064257059" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Funny Chit</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Husband wakes at 5 in the morning feeling realy horny, He nudges his wife and says,"honey give me a blow job." His wife says, "sweetheart i'm tired, just have a wank in a glass and ill drink it in the morning."</p><p></p><p>Q: Why did God create alcohol?</p><p>A: So ugly people have a chance to have sex</p><p>Q: What are the bumps for around a woman's nipples?</p><p>A: It's Braille for "Suck here"!</p><p>Q: What do gay termites eat?</p><p>A: Wood Peckers.</p><p></p><p>Shagga and Ferret went to the Pub for a few drinks,</p><p>Shagga says to Ferret,</p><p>”Mate,would you screw a Sheila (female) that had bad</p><p>Breath and rotten teeth”</p><p>Ferret looks at Shagga aghast and says”No way”</p><p>“Mate,would you Screw a Sheila that was 50kg</p><p>Overweight and had skin rashes and Ezcma”.</p><p>“Stop,your making me sick”replies Ferret.</p><p>“Mate,would you screw a Sheila that had bad body</p><p>Odor, didn’t shave under her armpits and had Tinea</p><p>Between her toe’s and a smelly rash in her groin”.</p><p>Ferret turns a sickly white “Yuk,of course I wouldn’t,</p><p>that’s to disgusting to even think about”.</p><p></p><p>“SO HOW COME YOUR SCREWING MY MISSUS THEN”.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">BIRTHDAYS of UNIMPORTANT PEOPLE</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Feb.16th...Melissa Gersh-First woman to be penetrated with a Viagra</p><p>enhanced penis.</p><p></p><p>Jun.7th... Carlos Jeromack-Inventor of the cardboard man hole cover.</p><p></p><p>Nov.23rd...Gloria Wouwerman-Last woman to board a lifeboat on the</p><p>Titanic, before it sailed.</p><p></p><p>Mar.13th...Isaac Grimaldi-Opened the first Kosher restaurant in Saudi</p><p>Arabia.</p><p></p><p>Dec.3rd...Jacques Q. Moed-Paid $6.4 million at Christie's auction for</p><p>the original Cinderella slipper (autographed by her stepmother).</p><p></p><p>Apr.25th...Helen Bardot-Made millions by adding numbers to alphabet soup</p><p></p><p>recipe.</p><p></p><p>July 5th...Gerard K. Nerney Jr.-Sued 'K-Mart' claiming they used his</p><p>middle initial without his authorization (settled for $1.49).</p><p></p><p>Oct.18th...Rodrigo Keller-Patented the first contact lens for seeing-eye</p><p>dogs.</p><p></p><p>Jan.30th...Jessica Rolex-Developed soundless wind chimes.</p><p></p><p>Aug.2nd...Rev.Francis Goldblum-Proposed that 'death by stoning' become</p><p>an alternative to the electric chair or lethal injections</p><p>...hey it's biblical.</p><p></p><p>May 22nd...Sherry Sugarman-Successfully marketed recycled pixels to</p><p>third world countries.</p><p></p><p>Sept.9th...Dr.Vinton Fiorina-Locates surplus mother's milk for needy</p><p>infants in large families.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this</p><p>see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit,</p><p>telling her not to dare go out like that.</p><p></p><p>The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times.</p><p>You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.</p><p></p><p>The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother</p><p>is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She</p><p>explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and</p><p>that it is just not appropriate.</p><p></p><p>"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I</p><p>can display my hanging baskets."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064257059, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Funny Chit[/COLOR][/B] Husband wakes at 5 in the morning feeling realy horny, He nudges his wife and says,"honey give me a blow job." His wife says, "sweetheart i'm tired, just have a wank in a glass and ill drink it in the morning." Q: Why did God create alcohol? A: So ugly people have a chance to have sex Q: What are the bumps for around a woman's nipples? A: It's Braille for "Suck here"! Q: What do gay termites eat? A: Wood Peckers. Shagga and Ferret went to the Pub for a few drinks, Shagga says to Ferret, ”Mate,would you screw a Sheila (female) that had bad Breath and rotten teeth” Ferret looks at Shagga aghast and says”No way” “Mate,would you Screw a Sheila that was 50kg Overweight and had skin rashes and Ezcma”. “Stop,your making me sick”replies Ferret. “Mate,would you screw a Sheila that had bad body Odor, didn’t shave under her armpits and had Tinea Between her toe’s and a smelly rash in her groin”. Ferret turns a sickly white “Yuk,of course I wouldn’t, that’s to disgusting to even think about”. “SO HOW COME YOUR SCREWING MY MISSUS THEN”. [B][COLOR="Teal"]BIRTHDAYS of UNIMPORTANT PEOPLE[/COLOR][/B] Feb.16th...Melissa Gersh-First woman to be penetrated with a Viagra enhanced penis. Jun.7th... Carlos Jeromack-Inventor of the cardboard man hole cover. Nov.23rd...Gloria Wouwerman-Last woman to board a lifeboat on the Titanic, before it sailed. Mar.13th...Isaac Grimaldi-Opened the first Kosher restaurant in Saudi Arabia. Dec.3rd...Jacques Q. Moed-Paid $6.4 million at Christie's auction for the original Cinderella slipper (autographed by her stepmother). Apr.25th...Helen Bardot-Made millions by adding numbers to alphabet soup recipe. July 5th...Gerard K. Nerney Jr.-Sued 'K-Mart' claiming they used his middle initial without his authorization (settled for $1.49). Oct.18th...Rodrigo Keller-Patented the first contact lens for seeing-eye dogs. Jan.30th...Jessica Rolex-Developed soundless wind chimes. Aug.2nd...Rev.Francis Goldblum-Proposed that 'death by stoning' become an alternative to the electric chair or lethal injections ...hey it's biblical. May 22nd...Sherry Sugarman-Successfully marketed recycled pixels to third world countries. Sept.9th...Dr.Vinton Fiorina-Locates surplus mother's milk for needy infants in large families. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that. The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate. "Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets." [/QUOTE]
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