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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064264159" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Beautiful BlondeA beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guythat's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year, also,he's sooooo dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to hishead to see how long he slept.So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score adate with this ravishing buxom blonde.Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon theybecome rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender callsout last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and says,"Let's have this last drink at my apartment."Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters theword, "OK."They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door, whenthe blonde stops him and says, "Before we go back to my apartmentthere's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle."He says, ..."That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda."uuuuu"Oh Mom!" sobbed Little Mary, "I'm pregnant!""What!? How could you?" screamed the Mother,"and just who is the father?"The daughter lifted up her tearful face and wailed,"How should I know?You're the one who would never let me go steady!"Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allowsthem to stand closer to the kitchen sink.-------------------------------------------------------------------How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."-------------------------------------------------------------------Why do men fart more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough tobuild up the required pressure.-------------------------------------------------------------------If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.-------------------------------------------------------------------I married a Miss Right.I just didn't know her first name was Always.-------------------------------------------------------------------A wife went in to see a therapist, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Everytime we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splittingyell.""My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what theproblem is.""The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"-------------------------------------------------------------------I'm a practicing heterosexual, but bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.-------------------------------------------------------------------After making love, I said to my girl: "Was it good for you too?" She said: "I don't think this was good for anybody!"-------------------------------------------------------------------I love the lines men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?-------------------------------------------------------------------You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.-------------------------------------------------------------------Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.</blockquote>

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