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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064266837" data-attributes="member: 14320">Horse TearsA fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?"The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff,sniff) , and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of something he can do. "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What's the matter now?" the bartender asks.The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back."The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves.A few months later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking the fellow breaks into his problems."I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of the (sniff) horses, and... it... it... grew back!"The bartender, now furious at the guy's general stupidity, yells, "for crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!"The fellow can not believe what the bartender has said and storms out of the bar.The next day the fellow comes running back into the bar as if he had just won the lottery. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured the horses and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"barA beautiful, young lady about 21 went to a doctor and asked for a check-up.The doctor claimed that he had to use a thermometer for the check-up.So the doctor asked her, "Where shall I put the thermometer? "The girl replied, "...uh ...not in my mouth, Doc. I might swallow it.""Okay...let's try your armpit." the doctor suggested."Well, it might tickle me, Doc. How about my butt?" the girl queried."Okay then," so he put the thing in the girls butt.Later, the girl while giggling exclaimed, "that's not my butt, Doc!"The doctor replied, "That's okay dear... it's not the thermometer, either." More Q's & A'sQ. What is the difference between a drug dealer and aHooker?A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.Q. What's a mixed feeling?A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliffIn your new car.Q. What's the height of conceit?A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.Q. What's the definition of macho?A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.Q What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golfBall?A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep thatKick.Q.Why is divorce so expensive?A Because it's worth it.Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?A. They both like a tight seal.Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?A. Their balls are just for decoration.Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and"aaaaaaah"?A. About three inches.Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?A. For traction in the mud.Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?A. The grip.Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?A. It's not hard.Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and aHusband?A: 45 minutes.Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?A: Breasts don't have eyes.Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the birdOf true love?A. The swallow.Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.</blockquote>

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