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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064275177" data-attributes="member: 14320">Little JohnnyA priest, a nun, Little Johnny, and a lawyer are out fishing in the Gulfof Mexico. They fail to notice that they have drifted out of sight ofland, until the small boat they are in begins to take on water and beginto sink.Looking frantically for life preservers, they discover, to their horror,that they have only one."Gentlemen, we adults have already lived good lives," said the Nun, "weshould give Little Johnny a chance also, give him the life preserver, hehas his whole life ahead of him.""Screw the kid," said the lawyer.Glancing quickly at his watch, the priest replied, "Gee, do you reallythink that there's still enough time...?"============An elderly Blonde Floridian called 911 on her cell phoneto report that her car has been broken into.She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."A few minutes later, the officer radios in."Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."============How do you know if a woman used a vibrator while she was pregnant?The kid stutters.Q: What do blondes and prawns have in common?A: The heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste nice.Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common??A: They were originally intended for children, but it's the men who play with them the most.What do fat girls and mopeds have in common?They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on it.Q: What do rednecks do for Halloween?A: Pump kin.Different Kinds Of Boobs And WeeniesA young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice allthe different kind of boobs?"Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal ifwe didn't. There are all kinds of breasts depending on a woman's age.In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. Inher thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging abit. After fifty, they are like onions.""Onions, Dad?""Yeah, you see them and they make you cry."Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind ofweenies are there?"The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, aman goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's weenie islike an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like abirch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmastree.""A Christmas tree?""Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration."=====Women are like phones:They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected=====Body FoundToday, police found an unidentified man's body in a park nearby.They describe him as having a Beer Belly,Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a Small Dick.I was just checking to make sure that you are okay.=====A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor.She explains the problem to the doctor, who asks her to sit down.He gets out his torch and says, "Open wide!""I can't," said the blonde, "The chair is fitted with arms!"</blockquote>

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