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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064279968" data-attributes="member: 14320">> Funny Sexual PositionsAll The Sexual Positions That You Can Try With Your Special Someone Tonight!> Tea Bag: As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your scrotum in and out of her mouth>> Pancaking: After you have preformed the teabag, you sit and flop your nuts on and as far across the girl's face as possible. A.K.A. Ball sacking>> Angry Dragon: Immediately after you blow your load in a girls mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.>> Shocker: When fingering a girl with two fingers, very suddenly and without her knowing, bend your ring finger down to touch your thumb, and while the two fingers are still in her pussy, stick your pinky up her ass. Two in the pink, one in the stink.>> Smurf: Smurffing is when the guy takes his dick and flogs it onto the side of the girl's face.>> Dog In The Bathtub: You attempt to insert your cock and nuts into a girl's ass. Now, which is harder; getting the dog in the bath, or keeping the dog in?>> Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. Take that you dirty Mexican.>> Houdini: Wanna be a magician? First off start ramming the bitch from behind. When you are about to cum, announce that you're cumming. Pull out and hock a loogie on her back, and when she turns around to look at you, bust a nut right on her face.>> Bucking Bronco: You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. When she tries to get you off, see how long you can stay on this bucking bronco.>> The Donkey Punch: Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict and needless to say will make you cream everywhere.>> One Eyed Pirate: Blow your load in one of the bitch's eyes. While she tries to wipe it off, kick her in the shin. The desired effect is to get her hopping on one leg while holding the other, and covering one of her eyes with her free hand. She may even say "Argh!">> Popcorn Surprise: Not really a sex position, but something really funny to do. First when you and your bitch are at a movie theatre, tell her that you will buy the popcorn while she holds the seats. When you buy the popcorn, cut a hole in the bottom, so when you sit down you can carefully maneuver your schlong into the hole. When she reaches in for a handful or two, she will get a nice surprise. Everyone likes buttered popcorn.>> Flaming Pele: This is funny as shit. You start plugging the girl from behind. You reach around with a lighter and light her bush on fire and you kick her off the bed. Flaming Pele.>> Flying Camel: As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still in her cunt. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.>> Pearl Necklace: Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl. Give her some nice jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit. WORDS WOMEN USEFINEThis is the word women use to end an argument when they are right andyou need to shut up.FIVE MINUTESIf she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is onlyfive minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch thegame before helping around the house.NOTHINGThis is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and youshould be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usuallyend in "Fine"GO AHEADThis is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.LOUD SIGHThis is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement oftenmisunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiotand wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing withyou over "Nothing"THAT'S OKAYThis is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make toa man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hardbefore deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.THANKSA woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you'rewelcome.Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments theycan avoid if they remember the terminology! And send it to your womenfriends to give them a good laugh!Oh, and before we forget ..."WHATEVER"...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.=====Nurse: How old are you?Patient: None of your business.Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for his records.Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?Nurse: Yes. Fifty.Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?Nurse: Zero.Patient: Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age.</blockquote>

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