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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064297161" data-attributes="member: 14320">Artificial PussyA guy visited his friend's house and saw a rubber object on the lounge, so he asked his mate what it was."It's an artificial pussy," his mate replied, "And it's the best fuck I have ever had!""Bullshit!" cackled the other guy, "A fake pussy your best screw? You gotta be joking!""Don't believe me? Why don't you take it home and give it a try then?" said his friend.The guy took the fake pussy home, tried it out, and found out it was true. It was the best screw of his entire life.Later that day, the guy's wife walked into the kitchen and saw the rubber object on the table."What's that?" she asked."It's an artificial pussy and it's the best fuck I have ever had in my life!" replied the husband"If it's so good," asked the wife, "What is it doing in the kitchen?""Well," said the guy, "As soon as I teach it to cook I am going to get rid of you!"What's the definition of a tongue-twister?A spiral pussy!What's the definition of a woman?Life support for a vagina!What does a blonde and a tampon have in common?They are both stuck up cunts!Why do blondes wear tampons?Because crabs like bungee jumping too!What do you call the space between the vagina and the arsehole?The chinrest!What do you call the useless flesh that surrounds a vagina?The woman!What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in a snowstorm?When you eat pussy, you can always see the arsehole in front of you!What do you get if you stuff your hand up a gypsy's cunt when she is on her period?Your palm Red!What is the irritating part around a blonde's cunt?The other guys waiting their turn!How do you know if you have an overbite?If your eating pussy and it tastes like shit!A Gay In LoveOne of two gays who were living together fell in love with the handsomeyoung doctor across the street."I'd just love to meet him," said one gay to his roommate, "if you haveno objections. But I don't know how to go about it.""I don't mind, sweets. Have your fling. Just pose as one of hispatients."So the first one went to the doctor's office the next day and said hisname was Smith."What's your problem, Mr Smith?" the doctor asked."Oh, Doctor, I have such a terrible pain in my rectum.""Let's have a look," said the doctor. "Take off your trousers."The doctor parted his cheeks and looked up inside with a flashlight."Holy smoke!" the doctor exclaimed. "No wonder you have pains. Do yourealize that you have one dozen roses up in there?""Never mind the roses," the patient said. "Just read the card!"Whore House Slogans----------------------------------1. More Fuck for your Buck!2. More Honey for your Money!3. More Gash for your Cash!4. More Hole for your Pole!5. More Head for your Bread!6. More Booty for your Looty!7. More Strange for your Change!8. She'll Wear a Collar for a Dollar!9. Will suck for a buck!I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.Wife: "Why don't you ever call out my name when we're making love?" Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."</blockquote>

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