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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064310734" data-attributes="member: 14320">Legs In The AirOne day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier."The next day when Susie’s dad came home she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today." Flustered, her father said, "Honey what happened?" And Susie said, "Well Mommy's legs were up in the air and she was screaming 'Oh Jesus I'm coming I'm coming' and if it wasn't for the milkman holding her down she would have been a gonner."IIIIIA guy was fucking his girlfriend in a park by the side of the road when a cop car pulled up."Just what the hell do you think your doing?" asked the cop.The guy looked up at the cop and said, "I'm fucking my girlfriend!""Great!" said the cop, "I'm next!""Sounds good to me," replied the guy, "I have never fucked a cop before!"IIIIIOne woman says to another, "I can't understand why you haven't goneto see that new gynecologist yet!""My gynecologist is fine. I don't need to change.""But the new one's so young and handsome, while your gynecologist isso old!"The other woman replies with a smile, "Yeah, I know. His handsshake all the time!"IIIIITwo Swedish housemaids are having their pictures taken.The first one asks, "Why is he lookin' at us like that?"The second replies, "He's got to focus.""Oh no," says the first one, "you tell him he has to take thepicture first."IIIIIHickory Dickory dockSome slut was suckin my cockHer hair got tangledThe bitch was strangledBut at least she swallowed the lot!!!!Wedding NightLittle Johnny's big brother had just gotten married and spent his firstwedding night with his parents. In the morning, his mother got up andprepared a lovely breakfast including freshly cut flowers from hergarden and gourmet food.She went to the bottom the stairs and called everyone to come down tobreakfast. Everyone came down, except the newlyweds. After a long wait,the family ate without them. The mother said, "I wonder why they nevercame down to eat?"Little Johnny said, "Mommy, I think...""Oh, shut up. I don't want to hear what you think!" said his mother, notwanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the eight-year-old.At lunch time, the mother again prepared a wonderful spread and againcalled the young couple to eat. Five minutes went by and she calledagain. After another long wait, the family proceeded to eat.As she was cleaning the table, she once again said, "I wonder why theynever came down to eat? Once again, Little Johnny started to speak, butmother immediately shut him up.At dinner the same thing happened. After the meal, mother once againquestioned why they had not come down to eat all day. Little Johnny onceagain said, "Mommy I think...""Well, what is it that you think?" asked his mother rather testily."I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline lastnight, he got my model airplane glue instead!"======Q: What did the blonde write on the postcard she sent home from vacation?A: Hi...having a great time. Where am I?Q: What is the difference between biology and sociology?A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, that it is biology.When the baby looks like the neighbor, that it is sociology.Q: Why do sperm donors get paid more than blood donors?A: Because sperm donation is handmade.A blonde goes to the drugstore to buy deodorant, and asks thepharmacist what he recommended."How about the ball type?""No, this is for my boyfriend's armpits."</blockquote>

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