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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064312358" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">30 Politically Correct Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid</span></strong></p><p></p><p>*A few clowns short of a circus</p><p>*A few fries short of a Happy Meal</p><p>*An experiment in Artificial Stupidity</p><p>*A few beers short of six-pack</p><p>*A few peas short of a casserole</p><p>*Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box</p><p>*The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead</p><p>*One Fruit Loop shy of full bowl</p><p>*One taco short of a combination plate</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Death Notice</span></strong></p><p></p><p>When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in</p><p>the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the</p><p>papers delivered than a good friend of the family phoned and complained</p><p>bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.</p><p>Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he</p><p>died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to</p><p>remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">__________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical</p><p>examination whereupon the doctor said</p><p>"You are in fine shape for your age.. but tell me..</p><p>do you still have intercourse?"</p><p>"Just a minute .. I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She went</p><p>... out to the reception room and said:</p><p>"Jake do we still have intercourse?"</p><p>Jake answered impatiently........</p><p>"If I told you once I told you a thousand times...</p><p>We have blue cross !!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"><span style="color: Red">__________</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p>You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer.</p><p>You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?</p><p>Shoot the lawyer... TWICE!</p><p>*A few feathers short of a whole duck</p><p>*All foam, no beer</p><p>*Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel</p><p>*Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt</p><p>*Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear</p><p>*Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel</p><p>*Too much yardage between the goalposts</p><p>*An intellect rivaled only by garden tools</p><p>*As smart as bait</p><p>*Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash</p><p>*Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair</p><p>*Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor</p><p>*Forgot to pay his brain bill</p><p>*Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels</p><p>*His belt doesn't go through all the loops</p><p>*If he had another brain, it would be lonely</p><p>*No grain in the silo</p><p>*Proof that evolution can go in reverse</p><p>*Receiver is off the hook</p><p>*Several nuts short of a full pouch</p><p>*He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down</p><p></p><p></p><p>A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs.</p><p>Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it.</p><p>As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly.</p><p>Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now.</p><p>As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?"</p><p>Very uncomfortably she asks, "How much does this rug cost?"</p><p>He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap your pants when you hear what the price is."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064312358, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]30 Politically Correct Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid[/COLOR][/B] *A few clowns short of a circus *A few fries short of a Happy Meal *An experiment in Artificial Stupidity *A few beers short of six-pack *A few peas short of a casserole *Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box *The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead *One Fruit Loop shy of full bowl *One taco short of a combination plate [B][COLOR="Teal"]Death Notice[/COLOR][/B] When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered than a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea. Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was." [B][COLOR="Red"]__________[/COLOR][/B] An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination whereupon the doctor said "You are in fine shape for your age.. but tell me.. do you still have intercourse?" "Just a minute .. I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She went ... out to the reception room and said: "Jake do we still have intercourse?" Jake answered impatiently........ "If I told you once I told you a thousand times... We have blue cross !!" [B][COLOR="Teal"][COLOR="Red"]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/B] You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? Shoot the lawyer... TWICE! *A few feathers short of a whole duck *All foam, no beer *Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel *Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt *Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear *Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel *Too much yardage between the goalposts *An intellect rivaled only by garden tools *As smart as bait *Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash *Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair *Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor *Forgot to pay his brain bill *Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels *His belt doesn't go through all the loops *If he had another brain, it would be lonely *No grain in the silo *Proof that evolution can go in reverse *Receiver is off the hook *Several nuts short of a full pouch *He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "How much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap your pants when you hear what the price is." [/QUOTE]
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