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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064320157" data-attributes="member: 14320">I Will Survive~To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive"~At first I was afraid, I was petrified.By the ugly fucker lying by my side.I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head,If I'd known for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed ...I tried to go, walk out the door.But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor.Your butt's a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,But I'd rather look at that, than at your fuckin' ugly face ...I want to go, I've got to leave.Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.I only know I've got to stop my drinking spirits and the beerCuz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like Richard Gere!I can't believe that we both shagged.You should be wearing concrete shoes, or simply bound and gagged.I'm fucking off right now, I'm jumping on the flippin' trainand I'm not stopping till I'm home and washed your greeblies down the drain.Please let me go, I feel quite sick,We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly little prick.I should have fucked your gorgeous roommate, at least he's got a nice tight assBut no, I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, and you have no class.It's time to go, run out the door.You look so ugly it should really be against the law.I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun,Cuz waking up beside your mug, just makes me want to be a nun!»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«::::»§«::::»¤»¤«::::»§«::::»¤«::::»§«::::»¤Yes, in fact I do suffer from PMS ...Putting up with Men's Shit.»¤«::::»§«::::»¤As the doctor removed the fourth peanut butter cupfrom my rectum, I came to a very, very importantrealization: There *is* a wrong way to eat a Reese's.»¤«::::»§«::::»¤I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but it seemsas if everything I eat lately turns to shit.LesbionicsQ: What do lesbians do after an argument?A: The go home and lick each others wounds.A group of blind lesbians were bunchin'Together to have a big luncheon.But no one could tell,Except by the smell,Exactly whose cunt each was munchin'!Q: How many screws are there in a lesbian's coffin?A: None, it's all tongue-in-groove, with no studs.Although most were called back because their tongues weren't long enough.There's a new tennis shoe on the market made strictly for lesbians,they are called DYKYS.Q: Why were lesbians invented?A: So feminists wouldn't breed.Q: How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?A: 19-One to change it and 18 to make a documentary about it.Q: How do you know that you are in a real lesbian bar?A: Not even the pool table has balls.Q: What is the name for a fight between two Chinese lesbians?A: A tong war.A lesbian was in the gynecologist's office one day, and as the doctor began his examination, he remarked, "My, aren't we clean today?""Yeah," replied the rug muncher, "I have a woman who comes in twice a week."Q: What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?A: Vagitarian.What do you call a pantry full of lesbians?A licker cabinetWhat do you call an Eskimo lesbian?A KlondykeWhat do you call 100 lesbians with guns?Militia Etheridge.What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?Fur Traders.What is a lesbian dinosaur called?A Lickalotapuss.What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?Well Hung.Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?She was found face down in Ricki Lake .What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?One's a snack cracker; the other's a crack snacker.What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 city workers?100 people that don't do Dick.</blockquote>

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