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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064321678" data-attributes="member: 14320">ProstitutesA cowboy arrives in a little town, enters the saloon and screams, "I want a woman, I want a fuck!""Welcome." says the owner, "We have Rosy the Red who fucks like three witches for only $30!""She's wonderful!" replied the cowboy, "But I don't have that much money!""No problem." said the owner, "For $20, Blondie the Blonde sucks your cock out of your underwear!""She's real pretty," replied the cowboy, "But I don't have that much money!""No problem sir!" said the owner, "For $10 Terry the Terrible will keep your cock in her hand til the mornin!""She's nice," replied the cowboy, "But I don't hav......""How much fucking money do you have then?" screamed the owner."Errrrr," whispered the cowboy, "25 cents!""Alright then," gasped the owner, "Go upstairs to room 22!"The cowboy runs upstairs, opens the door of room 22, and on the bed sees a nice young girl lying with her legs wide open. He jumps on her and begins fucking. After ten minutes he goes downstairs and says to the owner, "I... I think I have a problem!""What about?" replied the owner."Well," said the cowboy, "You know the young lady in room 22.....I was having fun with her and suddenly she turned her face and threw up a load of white mess!""Oh shit!" screamed the owner, "Someone go and change the corpse in room 22, it's full again!"iiiiTwo prostitutes were talking about how rough times were.One said, "You know, times are so bad that I did a trick last night for five measly bucks, just so I had the taxi fare home!""Huh," replied the other slag, "I gave away a blowjob last night just to get something warm in my stomach!"I've Learned.....I've learned that you cannot make someone loveyou. All you can do is stalk them and hope theypanic and give in.I've learned that no matter how much I care,some people are just assholes.I've learned that it takes years to build uptrust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroyit.I've learned that you can get by on charm forabout fifteen minutes. After that, you'd betterhave a big dick or huge tits.I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourselfto others - they are more fucked up than youthink.I've learned that you can keep puking long afteryou think you're finished.I've learned that we are responsible for whatwe do, unless we are celebrities.I've learned that regardless of how hot andsteamy a relationship is at first, the passionfades, and there had better be a lot of moneyto take its place.I've learned that sometimes the people youexpect to kick you when you're down will bethe ones who do.I've learned that we don't have to ditch badfriends because their dysfunction makes us feelbetter about ourselves.I've learned that no matter how you try toprotect your children, they will eventuallyget arrested and end up in the local paper.I've learned that the people you care most aboutin life are taken from you too soon and all theless important ones just never go away.I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't takea joke" in 6 languages.========================================Did You Know!Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor.You can't have everything, where would you put it?...If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.Eating right. Staying fit. Die anyway.A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.A shin is a device for finding furniture in the dark.As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.</blockquote>

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