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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064321678" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Prostitutes</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A cowboy arrives in a little town, enters the saloon and screams, "I want a woman, I want a fuck!"</p><p>"Welcome." says the owner, "We have Rosy the Red who fucks like three witches for only $30!"</p><p>"She's wonderful!" replied the cowboy, "But I don't have that much money!"</p><p>"No problem." said the owner, "For $20, Blondie the Blonde sucks your cock out of your underwear!"</p><p>"She's real pretty," replied the cowboy, "But I don't have that much money!"</p><p>"No problem sir!" said the owner, "For $10 Terry the Terrible will keep your cock in her hand til the mornin!"</p><p>"She's nice," replied the cowboy, "But I don't hav......"</p><p>"How much fucking money do you have then?" screamed the owner.</p><p>"Errrrr," whispered the cowboy, "25 cents!"</p><p>"Alright then," gasped the owner, "Go upstairs to room 22!"</p><p>The cowboy runs upstairs, opens the door of room 22, and on the bed sees a nice young girl lying with her legs wide open. He jumps on her and begins fucking. After ten minutes he goes downstairs and says to the owner, "I... I think I have a problem!"</p><p>"What about?" replied the owner.</p><p>"Well," said the cowboy, "You know the young lady in room 22.....I was having fun with her and suddenly she turned her face and threw up a load of white mess!"</p><p>"Oh shit!" screamed the owner, "Someone go and change the corpse in room 22, it's full again!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">iiii</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Two prostitutes were talking about how rough times were.</p><p>One said, "You know, times are so bad that I did a trick last night for five measly bucks, just so I had the taxi fare home!"</p><p>"Huh," replied the other slag, "I gave away a blowjob last night just to get something warm in my stomach!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">I've Learned.....</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I've learned that you cannot make someone love</p><p>you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they</p><p>panic and give in.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that no matter how much I care,</p><p>some people are just assholes.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that it takes years to build up</p><p>trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy</p><p>it.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that you can get by on charm for</p><p>about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better</p><p>have a big dick or huge tits.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself</p><p>to others - they are more fucked up than you</p><p>think.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that you can keep puking long after</p><p>you think you're finished.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that we are responsible for what</p><p>we do, unless we are celebrities.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that regardless of how hot and</p><p>steamy a relationship is at first, the passion</p><p>fades, and there had better be a lot of money</p><p>to take its place.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that sometimes the people you</p><p>expect to kick you when you're down will be</p><p>the ones who do.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad</p><p>friends because their dysfunction makes us feel</p><p>better about ourselves.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that no matter how you try to</p><p>protect your children, they will eventually</p><p>get arrested and end up in the local paper.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that the people you care most about</p><p>in life are taken from you too soon and all the</p><p>less important ones just never go away.</p><p></p><p>I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take</p><p>a joke" in 6 languages.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========================================</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Did You Know!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor.</p><p></p><p>You can't have everything, where would you put it?</p><p>...</p><p>If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.</p><p></p><p>Eating right. Staying fit. Die anyway.</p><p></p><p>A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.</p><p></p><p>A shin is a device for finding furniture in the dark.</p><p></p><p>As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064321678, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Prostitutes[/COLOR][/B] A cowboy arrives in a little town, enters the saloon and screams, "I want a woman, I want a fuck!" "Welcome." says the owner, "We have Rosy the Red who fucks like three witches for only $30!" "She's wonderful!" replied the cowboy, "But I don't have that much money!" "No problem." said the owner, "For $20, Blondie the Blonde sucks your cock out of your underwear!" "She's real pretty," replied the cowboy, "But I don't have that much money!" "No problem sir!" said the owner, "For $10 Terry the Terrible will keep your cock in her hand til the mornin!" "She's nice," replied the cowboy, "But I don't hav......" "How much fucking money do you have then?" screamed the owner. "Errrrr," whispered the cowboy, "25 cents!" "Alright then," gasped the owner, "Go upstairs to room 22!" The cowboy runs upstairs, opens the door of room 22, and on the bed sees a nice young girl lying with her legs wide open. He jumps on her and begins fucking. After ten minutes he goes downstairs and says to the owner, "I... I think I have a problem!" "What about?" replied the owner. "Well," said the cowboy, "You know the young lady in room 22.....I was having fun with her and suddenly she turned her face and threw up a load of white mess!" "Oh shit!" screamed the owner, "Someone go and change the corpse in room 22, it's full again!" [B][COLOR="Red"]iiii[/COLOR][/B] Two prostitutes were talking about how rough times were. One said, "You know, times are so bad that I did a trick last night for five measly bucks, just so I had the taxi fare home!" "Huh," replied the other slag, "I gave away a blowjob last night just to get something warm in my stomach!" [B][COLOR="Teal"]I've Learned.....[/COLOR][/B] I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages. [B][COLOR="Red"]========================================[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]Did You Know![/COLOR][/B] Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor. You can't have everything, where would you put it? ... If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. Eating right. Staying fit. Die anyway. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. A shin is a device for finding furniture in the dark. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. [/QUOTE]
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