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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064352048" data-attributes="member: 14320">Little JohnnyLittle Johnny's father was distressed with his son's preoccupation withbreasts. His son would repeatedly point to attractive girls and whisper,"Hey, Dad, look at the knockers on that one!"His father finally took Little Johnny to a psychiatrist, who assured himthat just one day's intensive therapy could cure the boy. When thesession was over, Little Johnny and his father walked several blocksback to the car. Little Johnny was silent as they passed a number ofattractive girls.As they neared the car, his proud father was thinking to himself, 'Wow,it worked', pleased with the psychiatrist's work. Then, as they passed aguy unloading barrels of beer from a truck, Little Johnny pulled at hisfather's sleeve and whispered, "Hey, Dad, look at the ass on the truckdriver!"~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*Little Johnny walked into his Dad's bedroom one day only to catch himsitting on the side of the bed sliding a condom onto his penis inpreparation of fucking his wife.Johnny's Father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on itbent over as if to look under the bed.Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doing Dad?"His Father quickly answered, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath thebed!"Little Johnny replied, "What ya gonna do when ya catch him, fuck him?"The 100 Rules Of Porn MoviesPart 351. Women always lovehaving their nipples bitten right away, while they'restill warming up.52. No one ever gets sore or cramp.53. Women love laying there and getting pounded in the same position forhours at a time.54. Especially when taking on three, four, or ten guysin a row.55. All women love facials. Really.56. The man's dick neveraccidentally slips out at the wrong moment.57. Women "never want a manas bad as this one."58. A straight woman will go mad with ecstasy whena lesbian eats her out.59. Two or more high school girls left alone allweekend in a big house will invariably engage in lesbian sex.60. And when little sis complains about being left out, she is immediatelyintroduced to every sex act imaginable.61. If you're a single male,visiting married friends will involve your fucking the wife while thehusband fucks you because, you know, it just feels right.62. Allattractive women are insatiably bisexual.63. But all "bisexual" womenreally want a man. That's why two women having sex with each other willinstantly drop everything and pay all their attention to the man whojust walked in on their scene.64. All women have a secret longing tofuck someone other than their husband, so that they can finally see whata "real dick" feels like.65. All married men are under-endowed, andevery wife cheats with a man whose dick is twice her husband's size.66. Husbands never raise an eyebrow when their wives leave the house aloneat night dressed in sexy stockings and a garter belt, and head off tothe bar.67. No man ever has any objections when his wife comes homefrom that bar and tells him how a stranger just fucked her better thanshe'd ever gotten it from her husband.68. Instead of being mad, havingjust learned that his wife cheated on him with another man, a husbandwill get more turned on than he's ever been in his life and willinglysuck the strange man's cum out of his wife's pussy.69. He will thenbegin planning her next night out where he will be able to join her andmaybe even get to watch her fuck another strange man.70. If the husbanddecides to take part in the orgy involving his wife, he will notactually participate in her adventures until after she's been drenchedin sperm by several men/eaten out by a wild lesbian/fucked silly by atotal stranger.71. If a wife is "lucky enough" to have a husband whoencourages her to have sex with another man, it only shows her how muchhe loves her.72. Only men who are already married themselves sleep withanother man's wife (presumably because their own wife is already havingan affair with another man).73. Bosses routinely have sex with theirmarried female employees, with no fear of sexual harassment chargesbeing filed.74. Every woman desires sex with their boss.75. After sex,no woman ever tries for advancement by bribing her boss with the threatof going to his wife with details from their sordid affair.Driving SteadyA married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice."Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again, "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, "he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says."Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what have you got?"Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him, smiles, and says, "The airbag."====A man goes to his doctor for his annual exam. After some tests, the doctor comes in and says, " I have some bad news, you'll only have 18 more erections in your life." The man, disheartened, rushes home. "Honey!" he yells. "I'm only going to have 18 more erections in my life!" His wife, horrified, says, " Well, that's okay, we'll just have to use them sparingly that is all." The man says, " What in the hell are you talking about? You're not on the list." HORSE RACELine up:In lane 1. Passionate Lady... In lane 2. Bare BellyIn lane 3. Silk PantiesIn lane 4. ConscienceIn lane 5. Jockey ShortsIn lane 6. Clean SheetsIn lane 7. ThighsIn lane 8. Big DickIn lane 9. Heavy BosomIn lane 10. Merry CherryAND THEY'RE OFF!!!Conscience is left behind at the gate.Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caughtbetween Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.AT THE HALFWAY MARK:It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in.Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.AT THE STRETCH:Merry Cherry pops under the strain.Bare Belly is making a final push.Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.AT THE FINISH:It's Big Dick giving everything he's gotand Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer.It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comesthrough with one final thrust and wins by a head...Bare Belly shows...Thighs weakens...Heavy Bosom pulls up..And Clean Sheets never had a chance.________Morris was visiting a friend in the hospital.He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when hegot on the elevator. A lady said to him with a snarl,'Sir, there's no smoking in here.'"Morris said, 'I'm not smoking lady.'" 'But you have a cigar in your mouth,' the woman said." 'Lady, ' Morris answered,'I've got on Jockey shorts, too, but I'm not riding a horse.' "</blockquote>

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