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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064372552" data-attributes="member: 14320">Things Not To Say During Sex...Part 11.. Is it in?2.. That's it?3.. You've got to be kidding me.4.. (Phone rings) Hello? Oh, nothing, and you?5.. Do I have to pay for this?6.. Do I have to call you tomorrow?7.. Oh momma, momma!8.. Oh dadda, dadda!9.. You look better in the dark.10.. This is much better than my last girl/boyfriend.11.. I thought that goes in the other hole...12.. Don't tell my husband/wife.13.. You have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it).14.. This sucks.15.. Can you finish now? I have a meeting...16.. I hope youdon't expect a raise for this...17.. I think you might get the job forthis.18.. Damn! Is that all you know what to do.19.. Did I tell you, Ihave herpes?20.. Now we must get married.21.. Hurry up, the game'sabout to start.22.. I'm hungry.23.. I'm thirsty.24.. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.25.. Are you trying to be funny?26.. Can I have a ride home after this?27.. Are those real?28.. By the way, I want to break up.29.. Is thatsmell coming from you?30.. Haven't you ever done this before?31.. Wow!I've never seen those before (then grope wildly).32.. Do you know whatsome female spiders do after sex?33.. You're so much like yoursister...34.. Your mom's cute.35.. What's your name again?36.. Do Ihave to be here in the morning?37.. A second time? I barely stayedawake the first time!38.. But you just started!39.. You're about asgood as a 9 year old, and I should know!40.. Don't touch that!41.. Canwe order a pizza?42.. I think my dad is listening at the door. On The IntercomA jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's finalapproach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We'reon our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying withus today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto".He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hearconversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot. "Well,skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?"Now all ears are listening to this conversation. "Well," says theskipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a crap. Then I'mgonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one withthe huge boobs. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my roomand put it to her all night."Everyone on the plane is trying to get a look at the new stewardess.She's so embarrassed that she runs from the back of the plane to try andget to the cockpit to turn off the intercom. Halfway down the aisle, shetrips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans overand says: "No need to run dear. He's gotta take a shit first."________Young Jimmy was taking confession when he told the priestthat he was having impure thoughts about his sister."Is this a sin, Father" he asked.The priest nodded and said, "Yes Jimmy, indeed it is asin. Look at the two beautiful brothers you have." Bubba And EarlBubba & Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when the decided toget in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at adollar a pop.The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce andextra long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhoodbar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, towhich Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti!How about you, how's that toilet brush?""Not so good," replied Bubba,"I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."=====================================================A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and lefther, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nursesbathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at awindow overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after awhile she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straightenher up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started totilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once morebroughther back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrivedto see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home."So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?""It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."****** BY NATIONALITYA CAUCASIAN WOMAN:First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.IRISH WOMAN:First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.ITALIAN WOMAN:First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makesspaghetti & meatballs.Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insistson a 3 carat ring.5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hatethe thought of having sex.6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.JEWISH WOMAN:First Date: You get dynamite head.Second Date: You get more great head.Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.POLISH WOMAN:First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. Shegave you the wrong address.Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She getslost getting to the restaurant and then again going home.Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.CHINESE WOMAN:First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothinghappens.Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinnerbut nothing happens again.Third date: You don't even get to the third date as you havealready realized nothing is going to happen.INDIAN WOMAN:First date: Meet her parents.Second date: Set the date of the wedding.Third date: Wedding night.BLACK WOMAN:First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends areal expensive dinner.Third Date: You get to pay her rent.Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.LATIN WOMAN:First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get herdrunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car.Second Date: She is pregnant.Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister'sboyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans inthe Bronx.</blockquote>

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