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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064469842" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Purple">Bad/Good To Worse</span></strong></p><p></p><p>-Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.</p><p>Worse: You're in it.</p><p>-Bad: Your children are sexually active.</p><p>Worse: With each other.</p><p>-Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser.</p><p>Worse: He looks better than you.</p><p>-Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.</p><p>Worse: She's a lawyer.</p><p>-Bad: Your wife's leaving you.</p><p>Worse: For another woman.</p><p>-Bad: You can't find your vibrator.</p><p>Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.</p><p>-Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.</p><p>Worse: She implicates you.</p><p>-Good: Hot outdoor sex.</p><p>Bad: You're arrested.</p><p>Worse: By your husband.</p><p>-Good: The teacher thinks your son's great.</p><p>Bad: In bed.</p><p>-Good: You came home for a quickie.</p><p>Bad: Your wife walks in.</p><p>-Good: You go to see a strip show.</p><p>Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.</p><p>-Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.</p><p>Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.</p><p>-Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.</p><p>Bad: She's eleven.</p><p>-Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.</p><p>Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.</p><p>-Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.</p><p>Bad: You live downtown.</p><p>-Good: Your wife's kinky.</p><p>Bad: With the neighbors.</p><p>Worse: All of them.</p><p>-Good: Your wife is pregnant.</p><p>Bad: It's triplets</p><p>Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago</p><p>-Good: Your son is finally maturing</p><p>Bad: He's involved with the woman next door</p><p>Ugly: So are you</p><p>-Good: Your son studies a lot in his room</p><p>Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there</p><p>Ugly: You're in them</p><p>-Good: Your son is ****** someone new</p><p>Bad: It's another man</p><p>Ugly: He's your best friend</p><p>-Good: Your daughter got a new job</p><p>Bad: As a hooker</p><p>Ugly: Your workmates are her best clients</p><p>Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Purple">Blonde Calendar Journal</span></strong></p><p></p><p>JANUARY - Happy new year to me. Took scarf back to store</p><p>- was too tight.</p><p></p><p>FEBRUARY - Bummer of a month. Got fired from job at pharmacy for failure</p><p>To print labels on medicine bottles.</p><p>Well - DUH!!!! - the bottles wouldn't fit in the typewriter.</p><p></p><p>MARCH - Exciting month. Finished a jig saw puzzle in 6 months. The box said "2 - 4 years."</p><p></p><p>APRIL - Scary month. Was trapped on an escalator for hours.</p><p>The power went out.</p><p></p><p>MAY - Frustrating month. Tried to make Kool Aid from scratch.</p><p>-8 cups of water just will not fit into those little packets.</p><p></p><p>JUNE - Adventurous month. Tried to water ski - Gave up</p><p>- couldn't find a lake with a slope.</p><p></p><p>JULY - Defeated month. Lost breast stroke swimming competition</p><p>- Then found out the other swimmers cheated by using their arms.</p><p></p><p>AUGUST - Wet month. Got locked out of my car during a rain storm.</p><p>-Inside of car was ruined because top was down.</p><p></p><p>SEPTEMBER - Dumb month. Lost a TV quiz show.</p><p>-The capitol of California is "C", isn't it?</p><p></p><p>OCTOBER - Hate M&M's .. .they are so hard to peel.</p><p></p><p>NOVEMBER - Bad food month. Cooked turkey for 4 1/2 days.</p><p>Was very dry - don't know what went wrong</p><p>- Instructions said "1 hour per pound" and I weigh 108.</p><p></p><p>DECEMBER - Accident month. Cut finger bad</p><p>- couldn't call 911</p><p>- DUH!!!! - there is no "II" on the phone.</p><p></p><p>MAYBE 2014 WILL BE BETTER.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064469842, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Purple"]Bad/Good To Worse[/COLOR][/B] -Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. -Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. -Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you. -Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. -Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman. -Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it. -Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She implicates you. -Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband. -Good: The teacher thinks your son's great. Bad: In bed. -Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in. -Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner. -Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes. -Good: Your daughter's on the Pill. Bad: She's eleven. -Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: He weighs 350 pounds. -Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown. -Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them. -Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago -Good: Your son is finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Ugly: So are you -Good: Your son studies a lot in his room Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there Ugly: You're in them -Good: Your son is ****** someone new Bad: It's another man Ugly: He's your best friend -Good: Your daughter got a new job Bad: As a hooker Ugly: Your workmates are her best clients Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do [B][COLOR="Purple"]Blonde Calendar Journal[/COLOR][/B] JANUARY - Happy new year to me. Took scarf back to store - was too tight. FEBRUARY - Bummer of a month. Got fired from job at pharmacy for failure To print labels on medicine bottles. Well - DUH!!!! - the bottles wouldn't fit in the typewriter. MARCH - Exciting month. Finished a jig saw puzzle in 6 months. The box said "2 - 4 years." APRIL - Scary month. Was trapped on an escalator for hours. The power went out. MAY - Frustrating month. Tried to make Kool Aid from scratch. -8 cups of water just will not fit into those little packets. JUNE - Adventurous month. Tried to water ski - Gave up - couldn't find a lake with a slope. JULY - Defeated month. Lost breast stroke swimming competition - Then found out the other swimmers cheated by using their arms. AUGUST - Wet month. Got locked out of my car during a rain storm. -Inside of car was ruined because top was down. SEPTEMBER - Dumb month. Lost a TV quiz show. -The capitol of California is "C", isn't it? OCTOBER - Hate M&M's .. .they are so hard to peel. NOVEMBER - Bad food month. Cooked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Was very dry - don't know what went wrong - Instructions said "1 hour per pound" and I weigh 108. DECEMBER - Accident month. Cut finger bad - couldn't call 911 - DUH!!!! - there is no "II" on the phone. MAYBE 2014 WILL BE BETTER......... [/QUOTE]
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