Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064471072" data-attributes="member: 14320">Buckwheat And DarlaBuckwheat and Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla: "How doyou spell 'dumb'?"Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."She says, "Buckwheat is dumb."The teacher says, "Now spell 'stupid.'"Darla says, "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."When the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says, "Buckwheat, spelldictate."Buckwheat stands and says, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."Buckwheat ponders for a few seconds, then spurts out, "I may be dumband I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"--------------------------Fred's convertible glided to a halt on the edge of a lonely country road."I suppose," said his pretty but reluctant date, "you're going to pullthe old 'out of gas' routine.""No," said Fred, "I'm going to pull the 'here after' routine.""The 'here after' routine what's that?", she wanted to know."If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I'm gone."Cyber Sex(Keeper)Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and sharedthrough Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll seebelow, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of anonline chatdoesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe hedoes... Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and highheels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are36-24-36.What do you look like?Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have ona pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from WalMart. I'm also wearing aT-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smellsfunny.Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?Wellhung: OKSweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on thestereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into youreyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins tofondle your huge, swelling bulge.Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silkslides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling andrubbing.Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips ahole in your blouse. I'm sorry.Wellhung: I'll pay for it.Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. Mysoft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it'sstuck. Do you have any scissors?Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching backundoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses mybreasts. Mynipples are erect for you.Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspectingthe clasp.Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel yourtongue all over me.Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,breasts. They're neat!Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'mnibbling your ear.Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit andphlegm.Sweetheart: What?Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains ofmy blouse.Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it witha plop.Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing yourhard tool.Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.Sweetheart: What's the matter?Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.Sweetheart: Are you OK?Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.Sweetheart: Can I help?Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumblingthrough the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.Sweetheart: I'm on the bed aching for you.Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet.And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where'sthe bedroom?Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.Wellhung: I found it.Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you sobadly.Wellhung: Me too.Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our nakedbodies pressing each other.Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place theglasses on the night table.Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the roomand toward the bathroom.Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around forthe toilet. I lift the lid.Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle,but I can't find it. Uh-oh!Sweetheart: What's the matter now?Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper.Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...inyour...you know...woman's thing.Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kissyour neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't standit another second! Slide in! Screw me now!Wellhung: I'm flaccid.Sweetheart: What?Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous lookon my face.Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner allfloppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on myunderwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table.I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, pictureframes and your candles.Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One ofour candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing atit, a shocked look on my face.Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!Sweetheart: (logged off)</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 vorsteiner rear bumper diffuser
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Mitsubishi Lancer Evo bodykit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda Civic FC fk7si front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Mercedes Benz W213 E63 AMG Body Kit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

The 2JZ - Now Sky-Rocketing the Toyota 86

https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/86dirft-600x374.jpg

While some adore the stock package that the Toyota 86 comes with, the grunt offered by the 2.0-liter Boxer engine might not be enough for...

Need help on BOV!!

Hi all Sifus,

I'm using hks ssqv bov for my E9 but wondering that the bov is so "light" to releasing the pressure even with a small rev. I have had an experience riding my friend's E7 using Greddy bov and spotted d...

Looking for MRS for TV Ad

Hi there,

I’m Kit from a production company called Running Water. We have been commissioned by an advertising agency in Jakarta to produce a TV Commercial for A Mild, a cigarette company in Indonesia. In one of the...