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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064545253" data-attributes="member: 14320">A blonde's Year In ReviewJanuary - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!..bottles won't fit in the typewriter!March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!August - Got locked out of my Jeep in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.November - Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!What a year!!=====Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?A: You know we do taste like chicken.Q: Why did the army private tattoo sergeant's stripes on his cock?A: He loved to pull rank!Q: What do you call a successful masturbation by a 90 year old man?A: Miracle whip.</blockquote>

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