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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064563694" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Cool Shorties</p><p></p><p>A little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting dressed. </p><p></p><p>She points to his dick and says, "Daddy, what's that?" Not wanting to explain to her yet, he says, "Uh, I can't tell you, it's a secret." </p><p></p><p>The little girl finds her mother and asks, "What is that long thing between Daddy's legs?" </p><p></p><p>Her mother also doesn't want to explain sex yet, so she says, "I don't know, he won't tell me." </p><p></p><p>A couple days later the little girl says to her mother. "Mommy, I finally figured out what that thing between Daddy's legs is. It's a toothbrush!" </p><p></p><p>"Why do you think that?" the amused mother asks. </p><p></p><p>"Because," the little girl says, "this morning I saw the maid sliding it in and out of her mouth and she had toothpaste dripping down her chin." </p><p>_____</p><p></p><p>It seems this guy had been experimenting with an unusual </p><p>method of seeking autoerotic gratification; namely, inserting </p><p>a live fish into his anus. </p><p></p><p>What he hadn't counted on was the fish's scales acting, in </p><p>effect, like one of those sets of driveway spikes that allow </p><p>you to drive over them one way but puncture your tires if </p><p>you try to go the other way. </p><p></p><p>In his pain and panic, he dialed 9-1-1. The EMT arrived, </p><p>surveyed the situation and said, "Son, you gotta learn to </p><p>chew your food better." </p><p>_____</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a circus and a high class brothel?</p><p>A: One's full of cunning stunts...</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the definition of Confidence?</p><p>A: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !"</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board</p><p>A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.</p><p></p><p>Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?</p><p>A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.</p><p></p><p>Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?</p><p>A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064563694, member: 14320"] Cool Shorties A little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting dressed. She points to his dick and says, "Daddy, what's that?" Not wanting to explain to her yet, he says, "Uh, I can't tell you, it's a secret." The little girl finds her mother and asks, "What is that long thing between Daddy's legs?" Her mother also doesn't want to explain sex yet, so she says, "I don't know, he won't tell me." A couple days later the little girl says to her mother. "Mommy, I finally figured out what that thing between Daddy's legs is. It's a toothbrush!" "Why do you think that?" the amused mother asks. "Because," the little girl says, "this morning I saw the maid sliding it in and out of her mouth and she had toothpaste dripping down her chin." _____ It seems this guy had been experimenting with an unusual method of seeking autoerotic gratification; namely, inserting a live fish into his anus. What he hadn't counted on was the fish's scales acting, in effect, like one of those sets of driveway spikes that allow you to drive over them one way but puncture your tires if you try to go the other way. In his pain and panic, he dialed 9-1-1. The EMT arrived, surveyed the situation and said, "Son, you gotta learn to chew your food better." _____ Q: What's the difference between a circus and a high class brothel? A: One's full of cunning stunts... Q: What is the definition of Confidence? A: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !" Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board. Q: When is a pixie not a pixie? A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'. Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself. [/QUOTE]
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