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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064564874" data-attributes="member: 14320">Retrieving The GerbilIn retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was onlytrying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemuseddoctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had beenadmitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had goneseriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slippedRaggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out`Armageddon' , my cue that he'd had enough.I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peeredinto the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described whathappened next."The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and flame shot out thetube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski' s hair and severely burning his face. Italso set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited alarger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent outlike a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and abroken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered firstand second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.Q. How did the john know how many times his favorite whore had gotten fucked that night?A. He drank her douche and counted the lumps as they went down.Q. What's the definition of gross?A. Licking the sweat off your grandpa's back as you fuck him in the ass.</blockquote>

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