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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064567433" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Things Not To Do While Waiting For Your Date At Her Parents' House</p><p></p><p>* Sniff the air and say it smells like a bordello.</p><p>* Repeatedly zip and unzip your fly.</p><p>* Go into a lengthy story about how you had Mexican food last night and ask if you can use the bathroom.</p><p>* Mention that 'Mr Happy' is primed and ready.</p><p>* Ask what time you should return your date tomorrow morning.</p><p>* Recite a couple of bawdy limericks.</p><p>* Ask the mom and dad what position they were in when they conceived their daughter.</p><p>* Scratch your crotch and say your herpes is acting up again.</p><p>* Pretend to eat your arm.</p><p>* Ask the dad if you can borrow a couple of condoms.</p><p></p><p>•••••</p><p></p><p>This guy visits the doctors and says, "Doc, I think I've got a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." </p><p></p><p>The doctor says, "Come back tomorrow and bring her with you." </p><p></p><p>The next day, the guy shows up with his wife. </p><p></p><p>The doctor says to the wife, "Take off your clothes and lie on the table." </p><p></p><p>She does it, and the doctor walks around the table a few times looking her up and down. </p><p></p><p>He pulls the guy to the side and says, "You're fine. She doesn't give me a hard-on, either."</p><p></p><p>•••••</p><p></p><p>A couple drove down a country road, not saying a word. </p><p></p><p>An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither would concede their position. </p><p></p><p>As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" </p><p></p><p>"Yep," the husband replied. "In-laws."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064567433, member: 14320"] Things Not To Do While Waiting For Your Date At Her Parents' House * Sniff the air and say it smells like a bordello. * Repeatedly zip and unzip your fly. * Go into a lengthy story about how you had Mexican food last night and ask if you can use the bathroom. * Mention that 'Mr Happy' is primed and ready. * Ask what time you should return your date tomorrow morning. * Recite a couple of bawdy limericks. * Ask the mom and dad what position they were in when they conceived their daughter. * Scratch your crotch and say your herpes is acting up again. * Pretend to eat your arm. * Ask the dad if you can borrow a couple of condoms. ••••• This guy visits the doctors and says, "Doc, I think I've got a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." The doctor says, "Come back tomorrow and bring her with you." The next day, the guy shows up with his wife. The doctor says to the wife, "Take off your clothes and lie on the table." She does it, and the doctor walks around the table a few times looking her up and down. He pulls the guy to the side and says, "You're fine. She doesn't give me a hard-on, either." ••••• A couple drove down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither would concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied. "In-laws." [/QUOTE]
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