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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064570638" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Serious Signs Of Menopause...</p><p></p><p>1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.</p><p></p><p>2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he</p><p>is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than</p><p>just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.</p><p></p><p>3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.</p><p></p><p>4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And your reply,</p><p>"Well, if it isn't Ozzie fucking Nelson."</p><p></p><p>5. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate</p><p>Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.</p><p></p><p>6. You change your underwear after every sneeze.</p><p></p><p>7. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop</p><p>on a field trip to Chippendales.</p><p></p><p>8. You suspect that most of your blouses have ' missing '</p><p>buttonholes.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Thinks You Don't Want To Hear Or Say In Bed</p><p></p><p>On second thought, let's turn off the lights.</p><p>Got any penicillin?</p><p>When is this supposed to feel good?</p><p>You're good enough to do this for a living.</p><p>But everybody looks funny naked.</p><p>How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?</p><p>Is that you I smell?</p><p>Have you ever considered liposuction?</p><p>Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.</p><p>This would be more fun with some more people, is your</p><p>brother at home?</p><p>Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?</p><p>Did I mention the video camera?</p><p>My old boyfriend used to do it a LOT longer!</p><p>And to think-I was really trying to pick up your friend!</p><p>Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober.....</p><p>Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064570638, member: 14320"] Serious Signs Of Menopause... 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. 4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie fucking Nelson." 5. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. 6. You change your underwear after every sneeze. 7. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. 8. You suspect that most of your blouses have ' missing ' buttonholes. Thinks You Don't Want To Hear Or Say In Bed On second thought, let's turn off the lights. Got any penicillin? When is this supposed to feel good? You're good enough to do this for a living. But everybody looks funny naked. How long do you plan to be 'almost there'? Is that you I smell? Have you ever considered liposuction? Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper. This would be more fun with some more people, is your brother at home? Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn? Did I mention the video camera? My old boyfriend used to do it a LOT longer! And to think-I was really trying to pick up your friend! Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober..... Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed? [/QUOTE]
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