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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064582874" data-attributes="member: 14320">No ArmsThere was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident.He was depressed, And decided to commit suicide.He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building.He was standing on the ledge and saw this man skipping,Whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closerAnd saw this man didn't have any arms at all.He started thinking, what am I doing,I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes A man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk,Happy and going on with his Life.He hurried down and caught the man. He told him how he hadLost one arm and felt useless and was going to kill himself.He thanked him for saving his life.The man with no arms began dancing, whistling and kicking up his heels again.He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"The man said, "I'm NOT... My butt itches!"___________________________________________________A beautiful young New York woman was so depressedThat she decided to end her life by throwing herself Into the ocean. But just before she could throw Herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her."You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you Away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring You food every day, and keep you happy."With nothing to lose, the woman accepted.That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid Her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he Would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her Until dawn.Three weeks later she was discovered by the captainDuring a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" Asked the captain."I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," sheReplied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe . Plus he's screwing me.""He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is theStaten Island Ferry."</blockquote>

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