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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064587880" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Oral Sex </p><p></p><p>A man went to a whorehouse to get some practice </p><p>performing oral sex on his wife. The woman at the front </p><p>desk gave him a key and told him to go to room 319. </p><p></p><p>The man walked into the room and met the lady of the </p><p>evening. He told her why he was there, so she gave him </p><p>a few pointers and then told him to go for it. </p><p></p><p>So, the man began performing oral sex and he was, by </p><p>her reaction, pretty good at it. But something strange </p><p>happened. A couple of minutes into the deed, he felt </p><p>something in his mouth. He spit it into his hand and found </p><p>a piece of carrot. </p><p></p><p>"Oh man, that's nasty!" he thought, but he said nothing </p><p>and continued. </p><p></p><p>A couple of minutes later, he came up with a pea. </p><p></p><p>"Damn, can't take much more of this. There's something </p><p>wrong with this bitch." But again, he said nothing and </p><p>gave it one more shot. </p><p></p><p>A couple of minutes later, he came up with a piece of </p><p>chicken. He couldn't stand it any longer. </p><p></p><p>"I can't do this anymore! I'm gonna throw up!" </p><p></p><p>"That's funny," remarked the hooker, "that's what the </p><p>last guy did."</p><p></p><p>=====</p><p></p><p>Why don't pygmies wear tampons?</p><p>They keep stepping on the strings.</p><p></p><p>What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?</p><p>A mechanic!</p><p></p><p>Q: Why did God create alcohol?</p><p>A: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.</p><p></p><p>Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies</p><p>A: A bingo machine.</p></blockquote><p></p>

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