Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064592694" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Memo To Employees: </p><p></p><p>Subject: FW: Memo to employees:</p><p></p><p>If you don't read anything else, read the paycheck guide.</p><p>SICK DAYS:</p><p></p><p>We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of</p><p>sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.</p><p></p><p>SURGERY:</p><p>Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you</p><p>need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything.</p><p>We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach</p><p>of employment.</p><p></p><p>BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:</p><p>This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do</p><p>for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be</p><p>made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases,</p><p>where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in</p><p>the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your</p><p>lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share</p><p>of the work is enough to keep the job going in your absence.</p><p></p><p>YOUR OWN DEATH:</p><p>This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two</p><p>weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your replacement.</p><p></p><p>REST ROOM USE:</p><p>Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the</p><p>future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order.</p><p>For instance, those employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from</p><p>8:00 to 8:10; employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10</p><p>to 8:20 and so on.</p><p>If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait</p><p>until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies</p><p>employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees'</p><p>supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there</p><p>is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three</p><p>minutes, an alarm bell will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract,</p><p>and the stall door will open.</p><p></p><p>PAYCHECK GUIDE:</p><p>The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees</p><p>better understand their paychecks:</p><p></p><p>Item Amount</p><p></p><p>Gross pay $1,222.02</p><p>Income tax $244.40</p><p>Outgo tax $45.21</p><p>State tax $11.61</p><p>Interstate tax $61.10</p><p>County tax $6.11</p><p>City tax $12.22</p><p>Rural tax $4.44</p><p>Back tax $1.11</p><p>Front tax $1.16</p><p>Side tax $1.61</p><p>Up tax $2.22</p><p>Tic-Tacs $1.98</p><p>Thumbtacks $3.93</p><p>Carpet tacks $0.98</p><p>Stadium tax $0.69</p><p>Flat tax $8.32</p><p>Surtax $3.46</p><p>Corporate tax $2.60</p><p>Parking fee $5.00</p><p>F.I.C.A. $81.88</p><p>T.G.I.F. Fund $9.95</p><p>Life insurance $5.85</p><p>Health insurance $16.23</p><p>Dental insurance $4.50</p><p>Mental insurance $4.33</p><p>Reassurance $0.11</p><p>Disability $2.50</p><p>Ability $0.25</p><p>Liability $3.41</p><p>Unreliability $10.99</p><p>Coffee $6.85</p><p>Coffee Cups $66.51</p><p>Floor rental $16.85</p><p>Chair rental $0.32</p><p>Desk rental $4.32</p><p>Union dues $5.85</p><p>Union don'ts $3.77</p><p>Cash advance $0.69</p><p>Cash retreats $121.35</p><p>Overtime $1.26</p><p>Undertime $54.83</p><p>Eastern Time $9.00</p><p>Central Time $8.00</p><p>Western Time $7.00</p><p>Pacific Time $6.00</p><p>Time Out $12.21</p><p>Oxygen $10.02</p><p>Water $16.54</p><p>Heat $51.42</p><p>Cool air $26.83</p><p>Hot air $20.00</p><p>Miscellaneous $113.29</p><p>Sundry $12.09</p><p>Various $8.01</p><p>Net Take Home $0.02 </p><p></p><p>Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a</p><p>positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns,</p><p>complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,</p><p>allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation's, or input</p><p>should be directed elsewhere.</p><p>Have a nice week.</p><p>Paul</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064592694, member: 14320"] Memo To Employees: Subject: FW: Memo to employees: If you don't read anything else, read the paycheck guide. SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is enough to keep the job going in your absence. YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your replacement. REST ROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:10; employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm bell will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open. PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks: Item Amount Gross pay $1,222.02 Income tax $244.40 Outgo tax $45.21 State tax $11.61 Interstate tax $61.10 County tax $6.11 City tax $12.22 Rural tax $4.44 Back tax $1.11 Front tax $1.16 Side tax $1.61 Up tax $2.22 Tic-Tacs $1.98 Thumbtacks $3.93 Carpet tacks $0.98 Stadium tax $0.69 Flat tax $8.32 Surtax $3.46 Corporate tax $2.60 Parking fee $5.00 F.I.C.A. $81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund $9.95 Life insurance $5.85 Health insurance $16.23 Dental insurance $4.50 Mental insurance $4.33 Reassurance $0.11 Disability $2.50 Ability $0.25 Liability $3.41 Unreliability $10.99 Coffee $6.85 Coffee Cups $66.51 Floor rental $16.85 Chair rental $0.32 Desk rental $4.32 Union dues $5.85 Union don'ts $3.77 Cash advance $0.69 Cash retreats $121.35 Overtime $1.26 Undertime $54.83 Eastern Time $9.00 Central Time $8.00 Western Time $7.00 Pacific Time $6.00 Time Out $12.21 Oxygen $10.02 Water $16.54 Heat $51.42 Cool air $26.83 Hot air $20.00 Miscellaneous $113.29 Sundry $12.09 Various $8.01 Net Take Home $0.02 Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation's, or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week. Paul [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
BBS RI-A God Spec Civic Type R FL5 18x10j+40
Started by
aycy
Chassis and Wheels
HKS Oil Cooler Honda Civic Type R FL5
Started by
aycy
Engine and Performance
MITSUBISHI / FE658 (RB/BK S2S)
Started by
PIstonHeads
Chassis and Wheels
Perodua Alza gear up body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
brake caliper spray
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda city Mugen gtwing spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda Civic FD JSracing GTwing spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda civic FC varis GTwing spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
JSracing GTwing spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Proton saga drive68 bodykit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Voltage stabilizer
I just want to ask you guys who ever used voltage stabilizer before and tell me about your opinion it is because i'm planning to buy it.
it is really save fuel/increase car torque etc?
it is really increase car...
The Ultimate Street Tuners Carnival 2007 Part 2
[/...
Wira Headunit to Atos
Planning to take the wira headunit and install it in a Atos, how to pull out the the radio from the wira ?
And also the Atos ?
Im referring to the removal of the dash ..
Info much appreciated!
Recent Posts
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
2026 Vios HEV launched with Local Battery Assembly - UMW Toyota Motor
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
SPPF: The Future of Automotive Surface Protection - A Technical Overview
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Upping Wira 1.5 MMC performance
Started by
Nyfka
Car Modification
Volvo Malaysia Launches Locally Assembled ES90 Electric Sedan
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...