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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064592976" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>God Grant Me The Senility...</p><p></p><p>God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.</p><p></p><p>Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:</p><p></p><p>1. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.</p><p></p><p>2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.</p><p></p><p>3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.</p><p></p><p>4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.</p><p></p><p>5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.</p><p></p><p>6. If all is not lost, where is it?</p><p></p><p>7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.</p><p></p><p>8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.</p><p></p><p>9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.</p><p></p><p>10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.</p><p></p><p>11. Can't remember...read #4 again.</p><p></p><p>12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.</p><p></p><p>13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.</p><p></p><p>14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.</p><p></p><p>15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?</p><p></p><p>16. It's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere.</p><p></p><p>17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.</p><p></p><p>18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm here after.</p><p></p><p>=====</p><p></p><p>Little Johnny's mother decided to tell him all about making</p><p>babies, so she had "the talk" with him. Afterwards Little</p><p>Johnny just sat there silently for awhile.</p><p>"Do you understand?" his mother asked.</p><p>"Yes," replied Little Johnny.</p><p>"Do you have any questions?" asked his Mother.</p><p>"Yes, how about little kittens and puppies?" asked Little</p><p>Johnny.</p><p>"In exactly the same way as with babies", answered his Mom.</p><p>"Wow!" Little Johnny exclaimed. "My daddy will fuck ANYTHING!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064592976, member: 14320"] God Grant Me The Senility... God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. 3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Can't remember...read #4 again. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? 16. It's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm here after. ===== Little Johnny's mother decided to tell him all about making babies, so she had "the talk" with him. Afterwards Little Johnny just sat there silently for awhile. "Do you understand?" his mother asked. "Yes," replied Little Johnny. "Do you have any questions?" asked his Mother. "Yes, how about little kittens and puppies?" asked Little Johnny. "In exactly the same way as with babies", answered his Mom. "Wow!" Little Johnny exclaimed. "My daddy will fuck ANYTHING!" [/QUOTE]
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