Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064596903" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Night Before XXXmasTwas the night befor Christmas, and God it was neat.The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.I was donning my jockies, to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore."That was some brothel," he said with a smile,"The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay awhile"He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And six pair of panties, the edible kind.A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several more things I shouldn't even mention.A fuck ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil."This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve.He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch, Saying, "Take me home, Rudolf. This night's been a bitch!"The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, "The best thing about pussy is you can't wear it out!!"</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

Carbing R35 GTR GTR35 Brake Master Cylinder Stopper
- Started by aycy
- Engine and Performance
GR Corolla Hypertune Bolt On Intercooler
- Started by aycy
- Engine and Performance
Carbing Radiator Reservoir Tank Honda Civic Type R FL5
- Started by aycy
- Engine and Performance
R35 GTR GTR35 Rim Wheel TE37 Track Edition
- Started by aycy
- Chassis and Wheels
Endless Racing Mono6 + Racing Mono4 R35 GTR GTR35...
- Started by aycy
- Engine and Performance
WOT Dual Oil Cooler Kit Civic Type R FL5
- Started by aycy
- Engine and Performance
Mugen MF10 Black Edition 18x9.5J+45 FL5 FK8 Type R...
- Started by aycy
- Chassis and Wheels
BBS RI-A God Spec Civic Type R FL5 18x10j+40
- Started by aycy
- Chassis and Wheels
HKS Oil Cooler Honda Civic Type R FL5
- Started by aycy
- Engine and Performance
MITSUBISHI / FE658 (RB/BK S2S)
- Started by PIstonHeads
- Chassis and Wheels

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

Repairing haltech sprint 500

hi guys,i need to ask something about my problem. I hope any of you can enlight me with a way to solve this problem.

I bought haltech sprint 500 to fix to my campro engine. The thing is bought on february this year...

Evolusi KL Drift: Malaysian Skyline Club Appearance

View attachment 624126

Hello all. Some fellows from the Skyline Club were involved in the screening of Evolusi KL Drift over the past 2 days...

my evo 7 (DAMD)

JUST TO SHARE MY RIDE.......View attachment 607797

Search

Enjoying Zerotohundred?

Log-in for an ad-less experience

Reply to thread

The Marketplace Latest

Carbing R35 GTR GTR35 Brake Master Cylinder Stopper

GR Corolla Hypertune Bolt On Intercooler

Carbing Radiator Reservoir Tank Honda Civic Type R FL5

R35 GTR GTR35 Rim Wheel TE37 Track Edition

Endless Racing Mono6 + Racing Mono4 R35 GTR GTR35...

WOT Dual Oil Cooler Kit Civic Type R FL5

Mugen MF10 Black Edition 18x9.5J+45 FL5 FK8 Type R...

BBS RI-A God Spec Civic Type R FL5 18x10j+40

HKS Oil Cooler Honda Civic Type R FL5

MITSUBISHI / FE658 (RB/BK S2S)

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

Recent Posts

Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine

2026 Vios HEV launched with Local Battery Assembly - UMW Toyota Motor

SPPF: The Future of Automotive Surface Protection - A Technical Overview

Upping Wira 1.5 MMC performance

Volvo Malaysia Launches Locally Assembled ES90 Electric Sedan

Search

Online now

Enjoying Zerotohundred?