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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064610926" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Farts Galore</p><p>WHEN YOU SHOULD NEVER FART:</p><p></p><p>1. Inside a crowded Lift. </p><p>2. Inside a public library. </p><p>3. On a crowded train. </p><p>4. Whilst giving a speech. </p><p>5. In Church. </p><p>6. Whilst on a date. </p><p>7. In a packed lecture theatre. </p><p>8. In your office. </p><p>9. At a cinema. </p><p>10. In a walk-in freezer - it'll linger a while </p><p>11. In a ticket line. </p><p>13. On an airplane. </p><p>14. During confession </p><p>15. In the bed, whilst feeling frisky. </p><p>16. In bed when you're feeling frisky </p><p>17. While fighting fire in a burning building </p><p>19. In a patrol car for a minor violation </p><p></p><p>WHEN TO FART:</p><p></p><p>1. Bosses office as you are about to leave. - best to make sure it's silent but violent. </p><p>2. In a bathroom. </p><p>3. In the cashiers line - it's bound to speed things up. </p><p>4. The empty elevator before you get off. </p><p>5. Beside an occupied dressing room - no doubt it'll quickly become unnocupied. </p><p>6. Your co-workers cubicle at the office. </p><p>7. When deep sea diving. </p><p>8. Back seat of the Police Mobile after being arrested. </p><p>9. In your car if you've been carjacked. </p><p>10. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors.</p><p></p><p>=====</p><p></p><p>*Yo mama is so poor and dirty, that when she farts, you and your siblings gather round her ass for warmth.</p><p>*Your ass is so dirty, when you fart the national guard proclaims a state of emergeny for a hazardous gas leak.</p><p>*Your breath is so stinky, people look forward to your fart.</p><p>*Your farts are so stinky, people plug their nostrils with blue vein cheese.</p><p>*When you fart, storm chasers get lost in the fog.</p><p>*When you fart, your asshole falls off.</p><p>*Your farts are so bad you bring hallipino peppers to tears.</p></blockquote><p></p>

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