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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064624859" data-attributes="member: 14320">Ma And Pa KettleMa and Pa Kettle were sitting on the front porch rocking away listening to Reverend Ike on the radio. The Reverend said, "Place your left hand on the part of your body you want healed, raise your right hand in the air and say, 'I Believe, I Believe!' and you shall be healed."Well, Ma placed her left hand inside her blouse over her tired, old heart and lungs, and raised her right hand in the air and shouted, "I Believe, I Believe!"Meanwhile, Pa just looked at her like she was some kind of lunatic. Then, Ma started breathing nice and easy, without her old wheeze, and she started rocking twice as fast as before. A wonderful color came back into her cheeks.Pa shrugged his shoulders, and figured what the heck. So, he shoved his left hand down the front of his pants. Then, he started to raise his right hand in the air, when Ma said, "Pa, the Reverend said, 'Heal,' not raise the dead=====Little Johnny is wandering up and down the aisles of a supermarket crying his eyes out."What's the matter fella?" asked a stock boy."I've lost my mommy!" wailed Little Johnny."Don't worry, we'll soon find her," soothed the stock boy."Now tell me, what's mommy like?""Bourbon and men with big, hard cocks," sobbed Little Johnny.</blockquote>

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