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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064625815" data-attributes="member: 14320">You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When:*Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.*You ski uphill.*You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.*You answer the door before people knock.*You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.*You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.*You sleep with your eyes open.*You have to watch videos in fast-forward.*You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.*You lick your coffeepot clean.*You're the employee of the month at the local coffee house and you don't even work there.*You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.*You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.*You can jump-start your car without cables.*All your kids are named "Joe".*You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.*Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low".*You don't sweat, you percolate.*You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.*Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.*People get dizzy just watching you.*When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup".*The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.*Starbucks own the mortgage on your house.*You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.*People can test their batteries in your ears.*Instant coffee takes too long.*You channel surf faster without a remote.*You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.*You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.*Your Thermos is on wheels.*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.*You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.*You can outlast the Energizer bunny.*You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.*Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.*You can't even remember your second cup.*You help your dog chase its tail.*You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.*You speed walk in your sleep.*You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack." *You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.*The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.*You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."*You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.*You chew on other people's fingernails. *The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.*Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee."*Cocaine is a downer.*You buy milk by the barrel.*You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.*You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.*You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.*You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.*People get dizzy just watching you.</blockquote>

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