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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064633437" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>A Friendly Stranger</p><p></p><p>Little Old Lady is being cross-examined by the DA</p><p></p><p>D.A.: What is your age?</p><p></p><p>Woman: I am 86 years old.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?</p><p></p><p>Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: Did you know him?</p><p></p><p>Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: What happened after he sat down?</p><p></p><p>Woman: He started to rub my thigh.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: Did you stop him?</p><p></p><p>Woman: No, I didn't stop him.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: Why not?</p><p></p><p>Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: What happened next?</p><p></p><p>Woman: He began to rub my breasts.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: Did you stop him then?</p><p></p><p>Woman: No, I did not stop him.</p><p></p><p>D.A.: Why not?</p><p></p><p>Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!</p><p></p><p>D.A.: What happened next?</p><p></p><p>Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said to him..."Take me ...young man...Take me!"</p><p></p><p>D.A.: Did he take you?</p><p></p><p>Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!"</p><p></p><p>...And that's when I shot the little bastard.</p><p></p><p>=====</p><p></p><p>A West Virginia couple, both certified rednecks, had 9 children.</p><p></p><p>They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed."</p><p></p><p>The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do this?</p><p></p><p>The husband replied that they'd read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby, because neither of them could speak Spanish!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064633437, member: 14320"] A Friendly Stranger Little Old Lady is being cross-examined by the DA D.A.: What is your age? Woman: I am 86 years old. D.A.: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. D.A.: Did you know him? Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. D.A.: What happened after he sat down? Woman: He started to rub my thigh. D.A.: Did you stop him? Woman: No, I didn't stop him. D.A.: Why not? Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago. D.A.: What happened next? Woman: He began to rub my breasts. D.A.: Did you stop him then? Woman: No, I did not stop him. D.A.: Why not? Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! D.A.: What happened next? Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said to him..."Take me ...young man...Take me!" D.A.: Did he take you? Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!" ...And that's when I shot the little bastard. ===== A West Virginia couple, both certified rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed." The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do this? The husband replied that they'd read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby, because neither of them could speak Spanish! [/QUOTE]
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