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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064633437" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Friendly StrangerLittle Old Lady is being cross-examined by the DAD.A.: What is your age?Woman: I am 86 years old.D.A.: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.D.A.: Did you know him?Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.D.A.: What happened after he sat down?Woman: He started to rub my thigh.D.A.: Did you stop him?Woman: No, I didn't stop him.D.A.: Why not?Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.D.A.: What happened next?Woman: He began to rub my breasts.D.A.: Did you stop him then?Woman: No, I did not stop him.D.A.: Why not?Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!D.A.: What happened next?Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said to him..."Take me ...young man...Take me!"D.A.: Did he take you?Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!"...And that's when I shot the little bastard.=====A West Virginia couple, both certified rednecks, had 9 children.They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed."The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do this?The husband replied that they'd read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby, because neither of them could speak Spanish!</blockquote>

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