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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064649016" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Signs That You Are Too Drunk</p><p></p><p>You lose arguments with inanimate objects.</p><p></p><p>You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.</p><p></p><p>Job interfering with your drinking.</p><p></p><p>Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.</p><p></p><p>Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.</p><p></p><p>The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.</p><p></p><p>Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.</p><p></p><p>24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!</p><p></p><p>Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!</p><p></p><p>You can focus better with one eye closed.</p><p></p><p>The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.</p><p></p><p>You fall off the floor...</p><p></p><p>Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.</p><p></p><p>Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!</p><p></p><p>Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you</p><p></p><p>At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."</p><p></p><p>Your idea of cutting back is less salt.</p><p></p><p>You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.</p><p></p><p>The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...</p><p></p><p>Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.</p><p></p><p>Roseanne looks good.</p><p></p><p>That damned pink elephant followed me home again.</p><p></p><p>Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.</p><p></p><p>I'm as jober as a sudge.</p><p></p><p>The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.</p><p></p><p>You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.</p></blockquote><p></p>

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