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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3346705" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Dog Named SexEverybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". Icall mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went tothe City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I wouldlike a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then Isaid, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Isaid, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine yearsold." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to haveSex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole worldrevolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personallife and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone wouldenjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at theJustice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Whenwe checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for meand my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in themotel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keepsme awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began,the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just lookingaround. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He saidthat I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said,"I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody ofthe dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sexleft me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. Acop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock inthe morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up nextThursday.Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damntroubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day whenI went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "Whatseems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all mylife but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer solonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand thatsex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."</blockquote>

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