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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3364503" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Kinky Se</span></strong>x</p><p></p><p>A couple has been ****** for three months, and the sex is getting dull.</p><p>One night they're lying in bed when the girl shyly says, "Harry, want to try something new? It's very kinky."</p><p>He says, "Sure."</p><p>She says, "Stand over me and take a shit on me."</p><p>So he's pretty shocked, but he figures well, if it's what she wants he'll do it. He stands up, straddles her, squats a bit, and takes a dump on her chest.</p><p>She says, "Now lie in it on top of me and screw me."</p><p>So he lies on top of her, with the shit oozing between them, and she gives him the wildest hump he's ever had.</p><p>So the next time they're fucking, she asks him to do it again. He stands over her and grinds out a huge turd onto her chest. Then he lies on her, and they have another incredible lay.</p><p>As time goes on, Harry really gets into it. He eats like a horse on the days before their dates, because it seems the more he craps on her, the better the sex is.</p><p>One Thursday night, he has the runs, so on Friday morning he eats a few cheese sandwiches and downs a whole bottle of Kaopectate before he goes to work, so he won't have any catastrophic accidents at the office.</p><p>That night, he goes to her house, they go in the bedroom and get undressed, she lies on the bed, he stands over her, and squats down, and grunts...but nothing comes out. He strains a bit, and grunts, and then llbbt!...a little fart...but nothing of any substance. For a few minutes, he's pushing and grunting, when suddenly she starts sobbing.</p><p>"Honey, what's wrong?" he asks.</p><p>"You're seeing someone else!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">o0o0o0o0o0</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man and a woman are riding an elevator.</p><p>The man says: "Can I smell your vagina?"</p><p>"Fuck no!"</p><p>"Oh -- then it must be your feet."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">o0o0o0o0o0</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: "You're nervous, aren't you?"</p><p>"Yes, it's my first visit to a gynechologist."</p><p>"Would you like me to numb you down there?"</p><p>"Oh, yes please."</p><p>He sticks his face between her legs and goes: "Num, num, num . . ."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">o0o0o0o0o0</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one smells something foul. He turns to the other. "Hey man," he says, "did you shit yourself?"</p><p>"Yeah," says the second drunk.</p><p>"Well, why don't you go clean yourself up?"</p><p>"I ain't through yet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3364503, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Kinky Se[/COLOR][/B]x A couple has been ****** for three months, and the sex is getting dull. One night they're lying in bed when the girl shyly says, "Harry, want to try something new? It's very kinky." He says, "Sure." She says, "Stand over me and take a shit on me." So he's pretty shocked, but he figures well, if it's what she wants he'll do it. He stands up, straddles her, squats a bit, and takes a dump on her chest. She says, "Now lie in it on top of me and screw me." So he lies on top of her, with the shit oozing between them, and she gives him the wildest hump he's ever had. So the next time they're fucking, she asks him to do it again. He stands over her and grinds out a huge turd onto her chest. Then he lies on her, and they have another incredible lay. As time goes on, Harry really gets into it. He eats like a horse on the days before their dates, because it seems the more he craps on her, the better the sex is. One Thursday night, he has the runs, so on Friday morning he eats a few cheese sandwiches and downs a whole bottle of Kaopectate before he goes to work, so he won't have any catastrophic accidents at the office. That night, he goes to her house, they go in the bedroom and get undressed, she lies on the bed, he stands over her, and squats down, and grunts...but nothing comes out. He strains a bit, and grunts, and then llbbt!...a little fart...but nothing of any substance. For a few minutes, he's pushing and grunting, when suddenly she starts sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" he asks. "You're seeing someone else!" [B][COLOR="Red"]o0o0o0o0o0[/COLOR][/B] A man and a woman are riding an elevator. The man says: "Can I smell your vagina?" "Fuck no!" "Oh -- then it must be your feet." [B][COLOR="Red"]o0o0o0o0o0[/COLOR][/B] A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: "You're nervous, aren't you?" "Yes, it's my first visit to a gynechologist." "Would you like me to numb you down there?" "Oh, yes please." He sticks his face between her legs and goes: "Num, num, num . . ." [B][COLOR="Red"]o0o0o0o0o0[/COLOR][/B] Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one smells something foul. He turns to the other. "Hey man," he says, "did you shit yourself?" "Yeah," says the second drunk. "Well, why don't you go clean yourself up?" "I ain't through yet. [/QUOTE]
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