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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3633111" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Sperm Sample</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An 80 year old man walks into a fertility clinic with his 75 year old wife. He walks up to the doctor and tells him of their plan to have another child.</p><p>The doctor tells the man he'll need a sperm sample to see if that was possible. He hands the old man a plastic jar and tells him where to go. The old boy takes his wife by the hand and heads for the room.</p><p>Two hours later the doctor was begining to wonder if they would ever come out. The two finally emerged looking embarrassed.</p><p>"I tried with my left hand, I tried with my right hand, my wife tried with her teeth in, and she tried with her teeth out," cried the man. "But we still can't get the fucking lid off this thing!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A young couple, married just a couple weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying.</p><p></p><p>So the husband inquires, "What's wrong Honey?"</p><p></p><p>"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast but I can't cook or clean."</p><p></p><p>The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."</p><p></p><p>So, off they went to the bedroom.</p><p></p><p>That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen.</p><p></p><p>"What's wrong now, Sweetie?"</p><p></p><p>"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."</p><p></p><p>Again, the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"</p><p></p><p>So, off they went to the bedroom again.</p><p></p><p>That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride sliding down the banister of the stairs naked. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister, again.</p><p></p><p>After the third trip the husband asks, "What the heck are you doing honey?"</p><p></p><p>To which the new bride replies,</p><p></p><p>"Warming up your supper</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3633111, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Sperm Sample[/COLOR][/B] An 80 year old man walks into a fertility clinic with his 75 year old wife. He walks up to the doctor and tells him of their plan to have another child. The doctor tells the man he'll need a sperm sample to see if that was possible. He hands the old man a plastic jar and tells him where to go. The old boy takes his wife by the hand and heads for the room. Two hours later the doctor was begining to wonder if they would ever come out. The two finally emerged looking embarrassed. "I tried with my left hand, I tried with my right hand, my wife tried with her teeth in, and she tried with her teeth out," cried the man. "But we still can't get the fucking lid off this thing!" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] A young couple, married just a couple weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying. So the husband inquires, "What's wrong Honey?" "Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast but I can't cook or clean." The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast." So, off they went to the bedroom. That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen. "What's wrong now, Sweetie?" "Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook." Again, the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!" So, off they went to the bedroom again. That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride sliding down the banister of the stairs naked. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister, again. After the third trip the husband asks, "What the heck are you doing honey?" To which the new bride replies, "Warming up your supper [/QUOTE]
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