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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3738644" data-attributes="member: 14320">Funny ShortiesBusiness was good at the local whorehouse and the madam decided topartition one of larger rooms. After the work was complete the carpenterasked for payment but was put off. After several weeks he still hadn'tbeen paid and he regularly threatened, "Pay me or I'll rip out thepartition." Finally the madam offered to pay him in trade. "Take anygirl in the house and have your pleasure with her.""I'll take you.""Me? I'm an old lady. Take one of those young, good looking chicks.""I want you."So he took her upstairs and removed all her clothes, laid her on herback and put one finger in her pussy and one finger in her butt. "Whatare you doing?" she asked. "I told you before. Pay me or I'll rip outthe partition."(((((Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly the engine stalls and they crash.Miraculously all five of them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted island.Since these four guys will need to have their natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule.Each guy would get a week to dick the woman as much as possible, the next week another guy and so on.This arrangement works out great for years, satisfying both the guys and the nymphomaniac woman until she suddenly dies…The first month went by and it was really awful; second month was really bad; third month was almost unbearable; fourth month rolls around and the guys couldn’t handle it anymore so they buried her.(((((Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems.The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour, 'cause my pee barely trickles out.""Heck, that's nothing, " said the eighty year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible".The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig.The trouble with me is, I don't wake up till eleven."(((((Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board."Does anyone know what this is?" She asked.Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy has two of them!""Two of them?!" the teacher asked."Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy's teeth!"</blockquote>