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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3839231" data-attributes="member: 14320">How You Can Tell When It's Going To Be A Rotten Day1. You wake up face down on the pavement.2. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.4. You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting in your office.5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.6. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party andthere aren't any.7. You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of thecity.8. Your twin sister forgot your birthday.9. You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize thatyoudon't have a waterbed.10.Your car horn goes off accidentally & remains stuck as you follow agroup of Hell's Angels on the freeway.11.Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.12.Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.13.The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.14.You wake up and your braces are locked together.15.You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of yourpantyhose.16.You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of yourbusiness.17.Your blind date turns out to be your ex.18.Your income check bounces.19.You put both contact lenses in the same eye.20.Your pet rock snaps at you.21.Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.@@@A couple had been debating buying a new vehicle for weeks. He wanted atruck. She wanted a fast little sports car. The couple foughtendlessly about the issue. Everything she liked was out of their pricerange. "Look," she said. "I want something that goes from zero to 200in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up,so surprise me!" He did just that. For her birthday, he bought her abrand new bathroom scale.</blockquote>

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