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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4016013" data-attributes="member: 14320">Happy Thanksgiving To all My friends And FamilyHow to Cook a TurkeyStep 1: Go buy a turkeyStep 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JDStep 3: Put turkey in the ovenStep 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskeyStep 5: Set the degree at 375 ovensStep 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drinkStep 7: Turn oven the onStep 8: Take 4 whisks of drinkyStep 9: Turk the basteyStep 10: Whiskey another bottle of getStep 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometerStep 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskeyStep 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hoursStep 14: Take the oven out of the turkeyStep 15: Take the oven out of the turkeyStep 16: Floor the turkey up off the pickStep 17: Turk the carveyStep 18: Get yourself another scottle of botchStep 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkeyStep 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out@@@A man is driving home late one night and is feeling very horny. As he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander. He thinks to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles.He pulls over to the side of the road, picks out a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts the appropriate size hole in it, and begins to screw the pumpkin.After a while he is really into it, and doesn't notice the police car pulling up. The cop walks over and says, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"The man looks at the cop in complete horror, thinks fast and says, "A pumpkin? Is it midnight already?"@@@ Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself.Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost. He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."</blockquote>

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