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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4041196" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Woodsman</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Walking through the woods a man comes up to another man hugging a tree</p><p>with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquires, "Just out</p><p>of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?"</p><p></p><p>"I'm listening to the music of the tree."</p><p></p><p>"You gotta be kiddin' me."</p><p></p><p>"No ,would you like to give it a try?"</p><p></p><p>"Well, OK..."</p><p></p><p>So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up against the</p><p>tree. With this the other guy slaps a set of hand cuffs on him, takes</p><p>his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strips him ass naked and leaves.</p><p></p><p>Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy</p><p>handcuffed to the tree, stark ass naked, and asked, "What the hell</p><p>happened to you?"</p><p></p><p>He tells the guy the whole story about how he got there. While he was</p><p>telling his story, the other guy shakes his head in sympathy, walks</p><p>around behind him, kisses him behind the ear and says... "Ya know</p><p>sweetheart, this just ain't your day."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">998899</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman goes to the gynecologist with a terrible case of</p><p>crotch rot. The doctor takes one whiff & almost passes out.</p><p>"My dear," says the Doc, "this is serious! What you need is Mega</p><p>Douche!"</p><p>"Mega Douche?" says the woman, "What's that?"</p><p>"It's my own formula! It contains marijuana, talcum powder</p><p>& Kentucky fried chicken."</p><p>"Why marijuana, talcum powder & fried chicken?"</p><p>"Because you wanna keep that thing high & dry & finger lickin good!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"> </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">998899</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A young boy was in the shower with his grandfather</p><p>and asked him if grandma looked the same as they</p><p>did between her legs.</p><p></p><p>Grandpa said, "No sonny, when she was young it</p><p>looked like a peach with fuzz on it and now it looks</p><p>like a cow turd that a wagon wheel has run through."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">998899</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q. What's green and melts in your mouth.</p><p>A. A leper's cock!</p><p></p><p>Q. What's blue and doesn't fit?</p><p>A. A dead epileptic.</p><p></p><p>Q. What sits at the bottom of the bed and constantly takes the piss?</p><p>A. A kidney dialysis machine!</p><p></p><p>Q. What's the first thing a women released from a battered women's</p><p>shelter should do?</p><p>A. The dishes, if she's smart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4041196, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Woodsman[/COLOR][/B] Walking through the woods a man comes up to another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?" "I'm listening to the music of the tree." "You gotta be kiddin' me." "No ,would you like to give it a try?" "Well, OK..." So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up against the tree. With this the other guy slaps a set of hand cuffs on him, takes his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strips him ass naked and leaves. Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy handcuffed to the tree, stark ass naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?" He tells the guy the whole story about how he got there. While he was telling his story, the other guy shakes his head in sympathy, walks around behind him, kisses him behind the ear and says... "Ya know sweetheart, this just ain't your day." [B][COLOR="Red"]998899[/COLOR][/B] A woman goes to the gynecologist with a terrible case of crotch rot. The doctor takes one whiff & almost passes out. "My dear," says the Doc, "this is serious! What you need is Mega Douche!" "Mega Douche?" says the woman, "What's that?" "It's my own formula! It contains marijuana, talcum powder & Kentucky fried chicken." "Why marijuana, talcum powder & fried chicken?" "Because you wanna keep that thing high & dry & finger lickin good!" [B][COLOR="Red"] 998899[/COLOR][/B] A young boy was in the shower with his grandfather and asked him if grandma looked the same as they did between her legs. Grandpa said, "No sonny, when she was young it looked like a peach with fuzz on it and now it looks like a cow turd that a wagon wheel has run through." [B][COLOR="Red"]998899[/COLOR][/B] Q. What's green and melts in your mouth. A. A leper's cock! Q. What's blue and doesn't fit? A. A dead epileptic. Q. What sits at the bottom of the bed and constantly takes the piss? A. A kidney dialysis machine! Q. What's the first thing a women released from a battered women's shelter should do? A. The dishes, if she's smart. [/QUOTE]
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