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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4041196" data-attributes="member: 14320">The WoodsmanWalking through the woods a man comes up to another man hugging a treewith his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquires, "Just outof curiosity, what the hell are you doing?""I'm listening to the music of the tree.""You gotta be kiddin' me.""No ,would you like to give it a try?""Well, OK..."So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up against thetree. With this the other guy slaps a set of hand cuffs on him, takeshis wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strips him ass naked and leaves.Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guyhandcuffed to the tree, stark ass naked, and asked, "What the hellhappened to you?"He tells the guy the whole story about how he got there. While he wastelling his story, the other guy shakes his head in sympathy, walksaround behind him, kisses him behind the ear and says... "Ya knowsweetheart, this just ain't your day."998899A woman goes to the gynecologist with a terrible case ofcrotch rot. The doctor takes one whiff & almost passes out."My dear," says the Doc, "this is serious! What you need is MegaDouche!""Mega Douche?" says the woman, "What's that?""It's my own formula! It contains marijuana, talcum powder& Kentucky fried chicken.""Why marijuana, talcum powder & fried chicken?""Because you wanna keep that thing high & dry & finger lickin good!" 998899A young boy was in the shower with his grandfatherand asked him if grandma looked the same as theydid between her legs.Grandpa said, "No sonny, when she was young itlooked like a peach with fuzz on it and now it lookslike a cow turd that a wagon wheel has run through."998899Q. What's green and melts in your mouth.A. A leper's cock!Q. What's blue and doesn't fit?A. A dead epileptic.Q. What sits at the bottom of the bed and constantly takes the piss?A. A kidney dialysis machine!Q. What's the first thing a women released from a battered women'sshelter should do?A. The dishes, if she's smart.</blockquote>

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