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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4067237" data-attributes="member: 14320">At the card shop a woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No."A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?""I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"00000A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"He says, "No! This is her f#cking husband!"00000My nookie days are over;My pilot light is out.What used to be my sex appeal;Is now my water spout.Time was when of its own accord;From my trousers it would spring.But now I have a full time job;To find the blasted thing.It used to be embarrassing;The way it would behave.For every single morning;It would stand and watch me shave.As old age approaches;It sure gives me the blues.To see it hang its withered head;And watch me tie my shoes.00000What's the difference between a wife, a nympho, and a hooker?The nympho says "You're done already?"The hooker says "Are you done yet?"And the wife says "Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige00000Three whores decide to see who has the biggest snatch. They getnaked, and start fingering themselves and each other. After a fewminutes, the first one squats on a glass top table, and then theymeasure the slimy outline she leaves. The second one then squats on thetable, and then they measure the slimy outline she leaves, which is evenbigger. The third one squats on the table, but when she stands back up,the first whore says, "You didn't leave an outline." She says, "Smellthe rim."</blockquote>

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